|
Eric grew distant over the next few days. He didn’t show up to breakfast and, when he did show up to lunch, he wouldn’t speak except for the essentials: putting on a façade and making it seem like nothing was wrong. In art, he would let Alexa sit in his usual seat, making it look like he had to sit on the other side of the room. Each time, he would smile and say “It’s okay, I have a lot of work to do anyway,” with that same smile, that would never touch his eyes, kept showing up. After school he would, occasionally, tell Candace that he had to go do chores. On days he did walk her home, he was in silence, and, when he kissed her, Candace could feel that it wasn’t the same, but she’d let it go, hoping it was just her imagination.
“So, what’s been going on?” Candace asked on their way to her house. “You seem really down, lately.”
“You mean like you?” Eric replied, almost coldly as he walked next to her, his hands in his pockets, away from hers. Candace’s heart stuttered at the jab.
“I told you I’m fine,” She lied, putting on her own façade again. Still, Darien wasn’t completely thrilled with her and she didn’t know why.
“Well, you don’t seem fine. You seem depressed,” He remarked, looking over at her out of the corner of his eye. “Or am I just reading too much into it?”
The last remark was almost mocking as he said. Candace knew he was onto her but didn’t know how he’d react to the truth.
" I think you're just overreacting and reading me the wrong way." Candace replied, a little snippy herself. She couldn't say it. She couldn't say " I have feelings for him, too." Candace do that, because she knew it would only hurt Eric. But, then when she thought about it, wasn't what she was doing just as bad? She knew she was in love with Eric and would never purposefully hurt him. But she was keeping things from him, hiding her emotions from him, drawing him away.
" Eric, I--" She bit her lip like how she always did, trying to find a way to say it, but instead went a different route. " I'm NOT depressed, okay? I'm FINE! So, quit pestering me." Candace was cold, but it was fake still, all the same. She had stopped walking and was standing still on the pavement, arms wrapped around herself lightly and looking off to the side away from Eric.
Eric looked at her, seeing the expression on her face, seeing right through her.
“I hate it when you do this, you know! I’m not some damned mind reader who can get in your head and find the truth! I love you, but I can’t stand it when you lie to me. I said I’d never be mad and I’m not." He reached out and grabbed her shoulders. “But it hurts damnit! I don’t care what you have to say, it will never hurt me as much as you lying to me!" He had raised his voice, slightly, fortunately not drawing attention form passersby.
" You want to know? Fine then. I care for him Eric, for Darien. I care about him a lot and it's hurting me that I don't know what's wrong with him. He won't talk to me at all, no matter howmany times I try talking to him. Hell, he won't even look at me anymore." Silent tears began to stream down her cheeks.
Eric was silent as his own expression became like stone. “And what about me, would you feel the same if I did that? Would you be frightened, alarmed, concerned, if I didn’t talk to you, look at you?” He asked, letting go of her and balling his hands into fists at his sides.
" Of course I would! Eric, I love you, okay? If you just started ignoring me, of course I'd me scared, worried, frightened, concerned, confused and everything else inbetween!" Candace couldn't being her eyes to look up from the cement floor. " You have no idea how much it would hurt me."
"Then why would you keep it from me? I know you have feelings for him, but I don't know why you would think I wouldn't understand. You said you'd choose me in the end. I believe you." Eric grabbed her again, tipping her chin up so she would look into his eyes. "Why can't you just see that I care about you? Its been eating me away inside for the past days, thinking you hated me and just didn't want me around."
" Because I love Darien too and... Well, I was afraid. I was afraid I'd loose you, I was afraid you might go after him or do something stupid. I didn't want to loose both of you and it still feels like I'm going to. And I don't want to choose sides, no matter what." Her gray-blue eyes, for today anyway, adverted his. " I don't want to hurt either one of you and right now it feels like I'm hurting both of you and it's tearing me apart..." The tears continued streaming out.
"Candace...I love you. I want you to bee happy, and if you're happy with Darien, be with him. I can't stop you. I'll be your best friend, your brother, whatever you need, until the day comes where you want to be with me, indefinitely." He wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead, steering clear of her lips to keep from adding to her confusion.
" But, you won't be entirely happy with that; with just being my friend, like my brother. You'll say you'll be okay, just for my sake... Cause you love me, right?" This time, she looked up in his eyes with her own confused and teary ones.
Eric shook his head, looking down at her with a loving smile and soft eyes. "No, nothing can break the bonds between us. I will be anything you need, waiting in the wing, for you. I know what's to become of us and I couldn't be happier than to just be able to love you."
Candace just nodded in reply, silenty. " Eric," She said after a few moments. " Thank you. And I'm sorry, for everything. But, will you always be waiting for me like you say? Won't you get tired of it? Of waiting?"
Eric chuckled, pulling her into a strong embrace. His body was warm compared to the cool air around them. "No, I won't get tired" He said, pulling away after a moment. He looked down at her, wondering if this was the end.
" But I don't want you to wait. I don't to hold you back from whatever. " Candace shook her head. " I don't want to do that to you, it's stupid. Keeping in the wings, just for me, even if you think you love me." She bit her lip, silent for a moment. " So, is this the end?" She then asked.
"Only if you want it to be." Eric replied, he gave her a bit of a half smile. He knew already that they were soulmates and that they would be together no matter what. He wasn't worried as he waited for her reply.
" Then, maybe, we should just put things on hold I guess. You know, since you plan on waiting for me and all." Candace gace him a smile, but it was full of pain and sorrow. " So, just friends then?"
"Best friends. He corrected, mirroring her smile. "But, if you don't mind, can I ask for one last kiss?" He said, giving her a half-hopeful look.
" I-- Sure, I guess that couldn't really hurt anything." Candace said, her smile fading a bit as she looked up at Eric.
Eric frowned, seeing her heart wasn't exactly in it. "N-nevermind, it was a stupid idea." He turned his head, looking off into space so he wouldn't meet her eyes.
" Alright, well.... I guess I'll see you later, huh?" She looked down at the ground again, her hands fumbling with each other. She felt horrible and if she thought her mind was a confused mess before, it was even worse now. She could feel how Eric felt and didn't make things any easier for her, but, Candace knew what she had to do.
Eric stepped forward, cupping her face in his hands. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. After a moment, he moved his hands down, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and hugging her to his chest, continuing to kiss her, as gently as possible.
After a moment's hesitation, Candace's arms wrapped around his torso and she kissed back. The tears that had stopped returned, pouring out harder then before. " I'm sorry." She said quietly, voice wavering a bit, as she laid her head on his chest. " I never meant to hurt you."
"You haven't hurt me, you silly girl. I love you more than anything in the world and that'll never change. You could never hurt me, not now, not ever." He said, hugging her tightly.
" That's what you say now." Candace said and lifted her head. " It's getting late, I have to get home before my mom flips out on me." She took her arms back and looked at Eric with a forced smile. " I guess I'll see you around, huh?"
"Yeah, you will." He gave her one more hug and another peck on the lips. I'll see you." Eric turned and walked off towards his own house.
 Aka_Saiyaku · Fri Aug 01, 2008 @ 06:31am · 0 Comments |
