Well, today I'm grounded for having problems with my 'attitude', but that hardly phases me when my mom tries to suppress my problems by grounding me instead of just asking what's wrong. If she cared about it, she would've realized something was wrong, but she's self absorbed sometimes, so it's not that important. I've been having a bit of trouble with my friend Jen, because she's 'Irish' what have you, and when she gets mad she gets stupid, and we got in a fight. The day before yesterday she had told me she could talk with me for a specific amount of time, and it ended up that she talked to me for not even half of that time, anxious to leave off to her own things to do. However, she didn't tell me she had left, so I waited for another thirty minutes or so for her to reply before I called her, only for her to simply say she /had/ to go at that time, that her mother was on the other line, and to hang up on me. I didn't answer her phone call after that because of course I was angered that she had hung up on me, and she didn't call me at all for the rest of the evening or the next day. Of course, when I finally got a hold of her I was angry, and I asked her why she hadn't called me at all, and that she had disrespected me by not keeping to her word, and she gave me a sobstory of an apology expecting me to sympathize. I don't need to hear one's problems to accept an apology, so her pathetic words only made me angrier because of course, I could tell her about how lonely I had been, and about how I had made her christmas gift especially so that the next day I could enjoy having her see it, and hopefully like it since I had spent such a long time making it before I said I was sorry for being angry with her over something as simple as spending time with her significant other, but instead, I simplified it to save the guilt trip that comes with so many words and simply said " I'm sorry I got mad at you, I was jealous." That was the truth, there was no need to go into intricate detail over it, but of course she called me only to tell me another intricate tale that made me even more angry, but then I explained to her that I didn't want to hear her crappy excuses and if she had just apologized when she knew she was wrong for what she had said then I would forgive her, and she said it, just the way I had hoped she would, only to hang up on me. So I spent the next thirty minutes calling her trying to get ahold of her so that I could tell her that I wasn't mad at her anymore over it, that I just wanted her to respect the fact that just because I'm exceptionally far away doesn't mean she can just brush me off. I mean, her girlfriend lives an hour away, and she spent an entire day and a half with her. I know that I'm not her girlfriend, but should I not be important enough for her to tell me that she's leaving when she's talking to me? Normally she has the courtesy to say " Hey, I'm sorry I have to go." But that day she just ditched me, and every apology she had given after was sarcastic, as though I had no right to be angry over her abandoning me and then not feeling any sense of guilt for it. After all, I wouldn't do such a thing to her, because she's one of my best friends. I have to go places too sometimes, and she has a life just as much as I do, but I mean, come now, at least the courtesy of being /told/ that one is leaving should be important. So, I gave up on calling her after thirty times, and she called me back only to spite me some more. I hung up on her after I had had enough, and I haven't spoken to her at all since then. I don't think I'll be calling her, but with the way she acted, and the way she says she closes herself off from people, I begin to wonder if she's detach herself to me since I'm not that particularly important, just a roleplay buddy over a thousand miles away. After all, I've only known her for about a year right? I can't say that I'm happy about it, or oh-well over it, but it does hurt a lot, and I'm hoping she won't, but some how I can't help but worry that she will for good. I hate being abandoned, it's happened a lot in my life, and I'll linger on it for a long time if she doesn't, because I've been waiting for my phone to ring all day, but it hasn't, and I'm still waiting. Pathetic, no?
-Thisdarkness
thisdarkness Community Member 
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