How could someone of the christian faith be such an antagonist? I don't understand how someone could believe that attacking other people with their own views on faith could believe it right when I explained to him what it was I meant in being bisexual and thoroughly trying to let him know that I've changed. I mean, I still see nothing wrong with being gay that will never change, but I am in love with a boy and no woman, man or anyone can change that. So what is my act against God? Being curious? Being unhappy and seeking happiness via another option? That's why I was bi. Because I wanted to find someone I could find happiness with, and now I'm happy, so what is wrong with it? I was friends with Jesse for a very long time, and friends with her parents, and they never noticed, they never assumed, because it wasn't something that was negative about me. It wasn't something evil about me. Sure. I'm stubborn, I'm loud and I'm open about my beliefs no matter what anyone says, and those may be things that seem bad about me, but my personal pursuit for happiness? How is that wrong? I tried to explain to him. No, I DID explain to him, but he wouldn't listen. I understand, his faith is a powerful thing and I respect it more than he would believe, but how is it, after knowing me AS I am for as long as he has, could he truly feel that disconnecting with me is the right thing. I would've understood if he had told me " Rio, I need you to understand that I know what you're saying, I know you have different views from me, and that my beliefs don't correspond with yours, but I have to find some way to explain to you that my opinion won't change." Or even better, for him to find some type of comprimise. If he wanted me to ask forgiviness from God? If he told me without bashing it at me like I was a criminal who was denying a crime that since I believe in God, even though I strayed from what's right I should find my way back, then I would've understood because you know what? I believe in God, but I can't say that I believe God, who created all of us with all of our opinions and views, would have a blindly black and white view of what's right and what is wrong. Especially with something that includes something such as love. Gay people can love eachother, they can love eachother just like a wife can love his husband without a moment of lust, but does that make their love evil? I don't understand, because the way he explains it is not explaining, it's didactic nonesense used to put people down for straying away from what he believes is right as though he's done nothing wrong in his life. I don't know what to do, it's really bothersome, and it makes my insides hurt to know that someone, especially someone who calls himself a CHRISTIAN ( Being the faith in which people love other people and try to guide them into the way of God) would be so heartless to me. I'm not a child anymore, I know the differece between right and wrong, but why bother with such powerful convictions if those convictions are only used to crush those he views blindly to be evil? Your deeds what make you a person, I am aware of this, it is what weighs in your value, but apparently in his eyes the good weighs half as much as the bad if not less, because I have known him for nearly two years and have been nothing a good person in his home, a good friend to his daughter and a respectful guest to his family, and yet all of that time, all of that getting to know one another, he deems me unworthy to near Jesse, a friend of mine that means more to me than most anyone. My friend whom I could call my flesh and blood and mean it with my soul because she is my soul sister. How cruel this world is, but we'll see how it goes. God will not choose sides, because the world is grey and no matter how blind he is, no matter how black and white he wants to paint it, it will always, always be grey.
-Thisdarkness
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