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The things I think sometimes blow my mind...


thisdarkness
Community Member
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1 comments
Today's a Day...
Today I feel kind of sick to my stomach. Jen still hasn't gotten on to talk to me, and I feel more and more that I'm not important to anyone that I talk to more than someone who's entertaining for a while, because Jessica and I made up, and not only had she been roleplaying with other people, but she had made a new cast, and as she was introducing me to them and telling me about them and sending me pictures of what they looked like, I remembered that when I had confronted her, she had clearly insinuated she didn't have any attachment whatsoever to my characters. It made me feel kind of sick, not of her or anything, but just sick, because I felt like kind of neglected... As stupid as that sounds...

I mean, I spent so much time loving her characters, so much effort in learning how to draw them, and wanting to get to know them and to meet them and play with them, and my characters, all along, were nothing to her, and now it's going to start over again if I start roleplaying with her again. I'll get attached to her characters, and she won't care at all for any of mine. I feel tears that won't fall, because in feeling this way about my characters, I can't help but feel kind of...useless. Was I that unmoving? Was I bad at writing? Why did I love her characters so much when she didn't care any for mine? I know...It's stupid...But I think I need some more time to recover from what she made me feel, but I don't know how to tell her that I do... I don't want her to know she hurt me the way she did, because it's stupid...


Thisdarkness





User Comments: [1]
Alexieh
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Sun Aug 13, 2006 @ 04:56am
'Scuse me> 'SCA-USE-MEH!? My love, you are NOT a bad writer mmmk? You need to stop belittleing yourself, you're reminding me of myself! I'm the one with the bad self-esteem!! You know what? It's your decision if you want to try to get to know Jessica's new staff, she cant make you do that, she cant make you like them. If she is so emotionally unattached to your characters, then she has no right to roleplay with them or even to know them at all. I've only gotten to hear simple stories and do fun little scriptys, and i'm already attached to your characters!

Yeah, me and Jessica are totally diffrent people, but for her to have known your characters for TWO YEARS and share character relationships and friendships and she can so easily throw them away? Well then, you have every right to tell her that you felt neglected, that you felt useless, that she hurt you and that she is being insensitive. You are not a bad writer at all, i envy you, you are able to write beautifully, and you have so many wonderfully diverse characters that i just want to squeeze and cuddle until they turn blue or a lovely shade of purple. All i know is that you have other friends who love you, and i never want you to feel neglected ever again! you are banned from feeling neglected!! NEVER EVER EVER NEVER EVER NEVER feel neglected heart


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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