|
"Last Day?"
I take a breath knowing this will be my last
A smile slowly crawls across my lips
This should be a blast
I let out my final sigh
The pain melts away since I know it's my last day
I know for sure that today I die
I smile and for once I'm truly happy
This is the best day of my life;my finaly day on Earth
I wonder if it will be like taking a nap
I shed my final tear
Not a tear of sorrow, but a tear of joy
There will be nothing more to fear
I stop to think about you
For the first time today I'm scared of leaving
I'm not sure what you're going to do
I stand on this cliff
It's been too long; I need to jump
I take one last breath; I big wiff
I am falling, falling, falling through the air
Yet while I'm falling I wish I could take it back
Right before I hit the bottem I think of you and it brings back more pain then I can bare
I think I'm dead
Is this what it's like?
I guess we'll never be wed
I hear you're voice...
What the hell is going on?
I'm scared but you bring me joy
I open my eyes to the light
As I squint I see you cry
But I have to close my eyes; it's too bright
When I took my last breath I didn't think of you
So I smiled...
what an evil thing to do
When I let out my final sigh I forgot about the lies I told
I let the pain melt away...
Oh how I've lost my soul
When I smiled I ignored how much pain you would be in
I really thought it was my last day on Earth...
I've commited the worst sin
When I shed my final tear I forgot how many tears I had cried over the loss of you
I let the sorrow fade away...
If only I had knew
But then when I stopped to think about you
I felt oh so guitly...
Though that didn't stop me from doing what I thought I had to do
When I was standing on that cliff
I didn't think about you; that's why I took the jump...
I really thought that the air I breathed would be my last wiff
When I was falling through the air
Damn how I wanted you back; how I wanted a second chance...
But I was glad because now the pain I no longer had to bare
I thought I was dead
No thoughts of you rain through my head...
Really I was just laying in the hospital bed
Then I heard you're voice
That's when I knew I wasn't dead...
I was so mad, but at the same time you were back so I was filled with joy
I'm not sure what I'm going to do know
How am I going to explain this to you...?
I've really hit an all time low
I just hope you can forgive me
Oh please, for the love of God dont leave again...
I need you so much, dont you see?
((Just my thoughts. . .and some experances added in there too. . .
Anyways, I hope you enjoy my dark, depressing, suicidal thoughts. . .enjoy))
"Hate?"
Screw you
I hate you
I don't need you
I take it back
I can't hate you
I do need you
I miss you
I love you
I want you back
But you wont take it back
You really hate me
You don't need me at all
You don't miss me
(You're happy now)
You don't love me
(You never did)
You don't want me back
(You never wanted me in the first place)
((yea. . .))
"Waiting on this bench"
Sad isn't it?
One day you're so in love; the next in so much pain
I'm not sure how anyone can handle this s**t
The only thing I understand there days is the rain
Could you really call it wrong?
We both knew it would end the day it started
I was hoping it wouldn't though; wrote that in a song
What's that black thing on the ground...oh wait that's my heart
How could I be mad?
I had the best thing in the world; you're love
Losing it though has made me beyond sad
But our love is no longer there, it flew away like a dove
Things can be rather sad
I've learned how easy it is to fall in love and how hard it is trying to get out of it
But I'm grateful for you; for what I had
Well let's say I'm sorry I put you through this
Things are so wrong these days
I was hoping for the best but got the worst
Guess all that time, love, and caring wasn't the right way
Well actually it wasn't a waste it just made my heart burst
There's no one to be made at but me
I ruined everything with one sentence
But I promise you still have my key
Until I get you back (if I do) I'll be waiting on this bench
((. . .))
"They're light"
Trust. . .
That's what I put in you
(What you didn't put in me)
But really I shouldn't have; should have knew
(I guess that's what you could already see)
Love. . .
It's not here anymore
(Was it ever really here?)
I try to forget as I stand on the shore
(Were you ever near?)
Friendship. . .
What the hell is that?
(I guess I never knew)
Well I don't give an a** of a rat
(What am I saying; of course I want you)
Life. . .
Never had one did I?
(Well I did when THEY were here)
I guess I'll pretend again; add anther lie
(But right now I think I've had one to many beers)
Abyss. . .
That's what I'm in right now
(Please. . .someone save me!)
Though I'm not sure why this came to be or how. . .
(All I want back is they're light to see)
((. . . . . . . . .))
"Roam"
Butterfly's fly away
Come again another day
Rain fall dripping down
Keep making your lovely sound
Trees dance to the beat
Looking as if they have feet
Grass buried in the ground
They're so free yet completely bound
Butterfly's tried to fly
But they didn't so they died
Rain fall stops its sound
It has gone away; stopped falling down
Trees stand still, the beat is dead
It's quiet as I lay in bed
Grass ripped from it's home
I guess it's my time to roam
((yeah. . .))
"Decide to die"
Don't mess with me
I've had all I can take cant you see?
There's no more "we"
I cant believe you were thinking about getting down on one knee
You said forever
I really should have known better
Right now I cant stop looking at this letter
Somehow my face has become wetter
I need to let this go
But these feeling I can no longer show
Should I have known?
I thought rock bottom was bad but somehow now it's even more low
Your smile used to make me happy
Now I'm all together snappy
Sorry if I was ever too sappy
But all I remember are your hurtful words (fatty)
It's all over, though I don't know why
I have cried and cried and cried
For now I'll have to add one more lie
But that's until I decide to die
((um. . .yea. . .))
"Blood"
Blood it spills
It fall to the ground
It dips with no sound
Blood it kills
It flows through your veins
And causes your biggest pains
Blood is blue
Then red
Sometimes in your bed
Blood always comes out of you
Blood is everywhere
In everyone you know
It might not always show
Blood doesn't share
You can cut
You could fall
You could trip because you're too tall
You can even spill your guts
It makes you hot
Makes you die
Also make you cry
But it can also put your stomach in a knot
Blood it's there
Then here
Always very near
Blood's always making you take all you can bare
((not sure where this idea came from. I was just thinking about blood in my L.A. class and therefore this poem was born))
"Wrong?"
Is it wrong to still love you?
You lead me on for so long
Things shouldn't be this way, but there's nothing I can do
You were right, I was wrong
Is it wrong to still want you?
Want to kiss you
Want to touch you
Want to hug you
Just to have you?
Is it wrong to still miss you?
I should be moving on by now....
This time I bit off more then I could chew
Before I end this and leave, I'll take a bow
Is it wrong to always think about you?
What we could have been
How did we loose?
Wishing we could be together, just not knowing when
I don't think it's wrong to still be in love
Even though you're love was fake, mine was not
You were really my saving dove
But right now it feels like my hearts been shot
I don't think it's wrong to still want something
Though I shouldn't want to kiss you
touch you
hug you
But just wanting cant hurt; cant sting
I don't think it's wrong to still be missing you
Even though I should move I'll stay in this moment forever
This moment was the only thing I understood; the only thing I knew
I may think about leaving you, but I will never stop caring, no never
I don't think it's wrong to always be thinking about this
If I cant have you what's so wrong with daydreaming for awhile?
It was the first real happiness I've ever felt; my first real bliss
I know that I cant live like this for ever but for now let me live in denial
You don't love me
(You never did)
You don't want me
(You wanted to get ride of me;the annoying little kid)
You don't miss me
(You never wanted me in the first place)
You never think of me
(You wouldn't waste you're time doing that; to you life is a race)
I love you
(I always will)
I want you
(I always did; something I needed to fulfill)
I miss you
(I have since you left)
I think of you
(I do every day even though you're a left)
This isn't wrong...
Or is it?
I'm not sure so maybe I'll write a song
Though this is just a bunch of s**t
((left over, bottled up feelings. I'm really confused and hurt right now. . .so yea. . .i made this. Hope you enjoy ))
"She-He"
She hates me
He doesn't love me
I miss him like hell
I cant hate her
I cant stop loving him
I cant stop missing him
We used to be friends
We used to be lovers
We used to be siblings
All that's left of our friendship is the images and memory's burned into my mind
All that's left of our love is what I choose to remember
All that's left of him is memory's, pictures, and thoughts
She walks past me everyday with a smile on her face
He doesn't even know I'm alive anymore
He's gone forever...
She saved me, now she kills me
He loved me, now he shoot me
He was always there, now he disappeared
I lost her to her "cool" friends
I lost him to his new love
I lost him to cancer
I don't want to trust anymore again because of her
I don't want to love anyone again because of him
I don't want to get close to anyone again because of him
It's not her fault
(YES IT IS!!!)
It's not his fault
(of course not)
It's not his fault
(did he really want to die?)
I still trust her...after everything
I still love him after all the pain
I still miss him after all these years
((she hates me
he doesn't love me
and i miss him like hell
that's how I came up with this. Those thoughts kept on running through my head so I decided to write them down. It helped a little. I don't hear that screaming anymore but there's still a whisper...
Anyways, I hope you enjoy my writing ))
"How...?"
You say you cant wait to hug me
I just cant wait until it's you I see
You say you cant wait to kiss me for the first time
I'm so excited you've got me to rhyme
You say you cant wait to hold me in your arms
I want to see you smile that lovely smile with all your charm
You say you cant wait to hold my hand
I really must be in my dream land
How can someone like you want to hug someone like me?
You blind me with your love until I can no longer see
How can you want your first kiss to be with me?
I don't know how but someone you've gotten my key
How can you want to hold me in your arms?
I don't even have half of your charm
How can you want to hold my hand?
You're only in my head since I'm not in you're land
This is so confusing...
But for some reason I know it's meant to be
I'm just happy you love me
That you've finally decided to let me see
((about my love))
 miroku fan 101 · Sun Sep 28, 2008 @ 08:23pm · 0 Comments |
