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Only four more days until I hear my angel again. It's only been a day yet it already feels like forever...everyday seems like forever, every hour seems like an hour, every second seems like a minute. Time's just moving so slow lately without him. In a way I guess this is good for me because it's making me so much stronger, and it's making me appreciate the time I spend with him more. I'm still in a lot of pain, but I'm getting used to it. Though it seems everytime I get used to the pain the pain gets worse so I start hurting again. I'm glad I've had so much experience with pain or I would have no idea how to handle this. I guess all that I've been through is actually useful for something. Never thought I'd get to say that.
I'm almost glad I have school because I have something to think about and it helps me not to think of him. Weekends are unforgiving though. If I don't get homework I practically go insane. Sometimes I just lay in my bed crying, trying to make the pain go away. I know I shouldn't pull out thoughts of him completely because I just cant take it. Maybe if I get out of the house more it would help keep my mind off of him. Though I am getting better at not going into my trances or breaking down in front of people. I only do that when I'm alone now. So in a way you could say I'm improving. I still haven't told him yet. I cant seem to find a way to bring it up or get the words out...anyone have any ideas? That would help a lot. I think I'm going to allow myself to go think of him right now. Hope I don't break down too much this time. See ya later peoples! I'm out ~
 miroku fan 101 · Mon Sep 01, 2008 @ 01:53am · 0 Comments |
