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Love, Honesty, and Destiny
some new poems
"Kite"
The knife comes to my skin
I'm letting the voices win
It's going to end here
I'm sorry I didn't say good-bye my dear

Maybe you'll forget about me
That's what I'm expecting to see
You never thought I'd cross the line
It was just my time

Understand I love you still
I just had to kiss
Look for me at dawn
Tell him I'm sorry Shawn

Love is gone for now
Go on take a bow
I'll be leaving tonight
Watch me fly away like a kite
((Just what I'm feeling. When I wrote this I was really pissed at my life...my friends...basically everything. But every thing's ok now...I think...))

"Survive"
Eyes wide open in the dark
You wonder if this is all a dream
I'm not sure what we did was right
We are falling apart at the seam

Mouths speaking words not meant to be heard
You dont understand all this mess
I will never let this go
We're just a joke; a big guess

No one knows if this is going to work
We dont know if it will or not
You want this to end but it's just began
I know and want, since this is what I was taught
((Not really sure where this came from. I was listening to "The Kill" and it inspired me to write this. it's what i'm feeling at the moment. just a bunch of confused emotions. so yea...hope you enjoy... ))

"Today"
No one understand what's happening. I don't either. The one person that wasn't supposed to go did. He walked away. You know what? ******** him! I hate him! Let him burn in hell forever! The things he put me through were brutal; heartless. The boy I knew disappeared a long time ago. The boy I love and cared for is gone forever; he isn't coming back. In his place is a complete and utter b*****d. A heartless fiend. No longer a warm, caring, gentle, loving boy, but a cold, uncaring, hurtful, evil monster. I will never forgive him for the pain he has inflicted and I will never be able to forget all the terrble and wonderful memories. I will never forget who he used to be, but I will no longer mourn over it. It's time to move on; find someone who will love me forever. I think I've found that person so no more wasting time and efforts on the old boy anymore. Good-bye my old friend...I'll miss him. I hope he doesn't forget to remember me like I'll remember him. I hope he just knows things will be better if we go our separate ways today...
((This is just what I'm feeling. I gave him all my love; all my trust; everything in me and he just threw it all away. Like i was an old toy he was getting tired with. Well I'm not taking it anymore. I'm saying good-bye))

"Forever"
Why do I love you? WHY? You don't love me, so why can I move on? When I look at you I know it's wrong, so why cant I stop? Why are you in pain? Why are tear forming in your eyes? You never cared before, so why do you care now? When are you going to save me this time? Will you wait until I'm dead? Or will you save me sometime soon? Why do I ever care? You have so many things to do, so you'll never have time for me will you? Will you EVER care? Did you EVER care? I care about you, so do you wonder why? I know this may sound dumb and it is, but I love you because you're you. No one will ever be like you. You are who you are and I can never change that...but no matter how much you change, or how much you hate me I will always love you. I want to help you so much...but you wont let me...I'll wait though. I'll wait forever
((this is about my first love. it was written awhile back, but it's how i still feel. i'll be waiting forever. maybe not to be his lover...but i still want to help him...to be his friend again would be, well that would be the best thing))

"They Say"
They say compassion comes from the heart
I dont understand that part
Has yours become tart?

You say there's nothing wrong
But your reply is taking to long
May I sing you a song?

They say forgive and forget
Yet my face is wet
Can I pretend we never met?

You say it's time to let go
I promised I wouldn't say no
Can I still let my feelings show?

They say learn from your mistakes
But I'd rather just sit at this lake
What did you think you could take?

You say I'm not who I used to be
You just cant see
How am I no longer me?

They say compassion doesn't come from the heart
I'm more confused then I was from the start
Where does it come from if not the heart?

Everything is wrong
I've waited to long
Just let me sing my song

They say you cant forget
I cant see because my eyes are so wet
How can I forget?

I'm not holding on; I'm letting go
I'm breaking my promise and saying no
Just let me feel what I have to show

They say to never makes mistakes
I wont listen to them I'll be sitting at the lake
Where do you learn if you dont make mistakes?

I'm still who I used to be
Open your eyes and see
Just understand this is me
((I'm not sure where this came from. Ideas in my head mixed with my emotions right now I guess...anyways I hope you enjoy this piece. It was rather fun to make))

"Went Away"
As you walked away tears streamed down my face
Thoughts raced through my head
Soon I quickly feel behind pace
All I could do was lay and cry on my bed

No one understood my pain
They couldn't understand why my heart fell apart
You helped me to stay in the right lane
I thought I could trust you but you stabbed me with a dart

Now I understand you didn't want to help me at all
You just wanted to use me like everyone else did
You thought I was a toy; maybe a ball?
Well it's time for me to close the lid

No more me and you
No more fun
You need to shew
I am done
((I feel rather betrayed at the moment...needed to get some emotions out, so here they are.hope you enjoy....))

"Where..."
Looking all around
But there's not a sound
Looking for you
But there's nothing I can do

You left this morning
But I'm not learning
You aren't coming back
But I know what I'm going to lack

It's been five years since that day
I think it was around May
I'm not sure if I'll ever let your memory go
It's the only thing I have left to show

Do you understand this hollowness I feel?
Or has it been forgotten like some kind of deal?
I understand this hollowness that has made me bent
But maybe that's because I've felt this way since you went
((i lost him...he's not coming back...why did he leave? why is he gone? i need him more then ever...but he's no longer here...))


miroku fan 101
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