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I don't know what's wrong anymore. I broke up with my boyfriend, and my ex-ex says he still cares about me(which makes me think he still likes me). I think I like one of my friends, but I'm not sure. He's one of the only people who hasn't left me or caused me pain. I trust him with my life and I know I'm the only person who hasn't left him or hurt him either. Though I don't think he feels the same as me. I asked him what he think I should do since I like a guy but I'm afraid to tell him because I don't want to rune the friendship. He told me I should tell the person I like about my feelings. If only he knew that the person I liked was him. If only...I'm out!
"Time"
The words were never spoken
You left before I had a chance to say
That my heart you have broken
When you left on that day
You never got to hear
He ended your life before you could listen
You didn't mean to break my heart dear
I'm know that you wish you weren't missing
I want to say I love you
Nothing can ever take that away
You're still in everything I do
And everything I say
You loved me in your own ways
And forever you will
You know I'm still with you everyday
Until we meet again, time will stand still
((Still trying to get all the emotions out...not really helping though. I never got to tell him that I loved him and now I'm dieing inside. I'm not sure what hurts more losing him and not saying anything or losing him and knowing i could have done something. all i know is i miss everything that we shared, all the memory's that we had and shared, everything we went through together, but most of all i just miss him and want him back...))
"Voices"
It spins around my head
Never coming to a stop
I wish I could go to bed
The voices whisper in my ear
The words never leaving my head
It's too much to take as I slowly shed a tear
The blade comes to my skin
When the blood comes I feel whole
It this a sin?
The voices come back every day
Telling me to do what I no longer want to
But I must listen to what they say
Blood spills all over the floor
I try to speak but no sound escapes my lips
My vision becomes a blur
When I open my eyes I see white
I wince at the pain as I sit up
Squinting my eyes to the light so bright
All around me people with tears in there eyes
They all give me a weak sad smile
In there eyes I'm a broken doll who wants to die
Ever since then they've sent me here
I hate talking to you
Understand that I wont shed a tear
Though it's been months since it happened
They still treat me like a broken doll
It's still a sin
I don't need your help
There's nothing wrong with me
You cant tangle your lies around me like kelp
All I need is the knife
It sets me free
Then I can finally end this life
They worry I'll do it
Oh, how weak they are
They say they understand but that's s**t
The voices took you with all their might
You could no longer take it, and no longer can I
The voices will take another life tonight
((. . .))
"Dark"
I made a promise,
but it was meant to be broken
I said I would end this bliss,
I should have never spoken
As the blood comes to the surface,
I can no longer feel pain
Now I need more, not less
though it helps when I watch it rain
You see the fresh marks on my arms
I see you looking and wonder why you don't ask
You give me that smile with a charm
I'm not going to take off this mask
Tonight more blood comes then ever before
It feels so good, yet I know I'm doing wrong
But I cant walk out that door,
no it's been far too long
I see the tears come to your eyes
You know what I've been doing
I knew you would see through my lies
You tell yourself you should have knew
You hold me in your arms
Whispering words that make me feel whole
You have your own charm
I have found my lost soul
I promise you once more,
you wont see any more marks
As I lay here in your arms on the shore,
I close my eyes to your warmness in the dark
((I broke a promise...again, but I wont anymore))
"Don't"
Scream,
but don't give up your dream
Dream,
yet it's different then it seems
Cry,
but don't let them see you die
Die,
yet it's all a lie
Walk,
but don't talk
Talk,
yet don't get mocked
Learn,
but don't give up your turn
Turn,
yet don't let them completely burn
Sell,
but don't tell
Tell,
yet don't strike the warning bell
Give,
but don't let go of the reason to live
Live,
yet don't ever give
((Not really sure what this is about. The ideas were running through my head so I thought I'd write them down and this is what I wrote. I guess it's just what I'm feeling. Hope you like it))
"Fail"
I toss and turn
I can't close my eyes
I wont let you burn
I wont let you die
You call and call
You get no answer
If only you knew I am not a doll
If only you knew that I had cancer
I hear the screaming
Nothing I do can block it out
I know this isn't a dream
Now I'm left to wonder about
You knock on the door
My eyes look at you
You see me smile because I don't have to hide anymore
Now I know you wont shoo
I'm no longer here
Tears stream down your face
Please know that I'm near
I know it's hard to believe as I go underground in that case
You walk away from the place I lay at rest
Know that you didn't fail me
You did your best
It was just my time and soon that you will see
((I wrote this from my friends point of view. I dedicate it to him ))
"Lives"
Laying broken on the ground
She doesn't know what to do or what to say
Doesn't know that fate is already bound
Doesn't know she will go on that day
Tears fall on the wooden floor
His heart was ripped out before his very eyes
Can't walk out that door
He will stay here and die
Friends both baring pain
Couldn't help each other change
Didn't help each other stay sane
Nothing can be rearranged
Leaving the world at the same time
They filled hearts with dread
Always staying combined
Saying good-bye to the lives they lead
((. . .))
 miroku fan 101 · Sat Jun 14, 2008 @ 06:41pm · 0 Comments |
