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Arivae
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A Series Of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Have any of you guys ever heard of a set of books called "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" By Lemony Snicket? No doubt everyone's seen that movie... But the books are soooo much better. I'm about half way through the last book "The End" which is AWESOME, I may add. If you guys haven’t read it, it's definitely recommend reading the series from the start right to the end... They're GREAT. Lemony Snicket writes with such an awesome sense of humor, and he loves playing with his words. I thought I'd leave you guys some quotes from some of his books here, just so you can see what it's all about. I'll start with a rather long but wickedly confusing quote from the last book. Here goes:

"As I’m sure you know, many words in our mysterious and confusing language that can mean two completely different things. The word “bear,” for instance, can refer to a rather husky mammal found in the woods, as in the sentence “The bear moves quietly toward the camp councilor, who was too busy putting on lipstick to notice,” but it can also refer to how much someone can handle, as is the sentence “The loss of my councilor is more then I can bear.” The word “yarn” can refer to both a colorful strand of wool, as in the sentence “His sweater was made of yarn,” and to a long and rambling story, as in the sentence “His yarn about how he lost his sweater almost put me to sleep.” The word “hard” can refer both to something that is difficult and something that is firm to the touch, unless you come across a sentence like “The bears bear hard hard yarn yarns” you are unlikely to be confused." - The End (Book the thirteenth)

"If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats." - The Wide Window (Book the third)

"The moral of "The Three Bears," for instance, is "Never break into someone else's house." The moral of "Snow White" is "Never eat apples." The moral of World War One is "Never assassinate Archduke Ferdinand." - The Miserable Mill (Book the fourth)

"Assumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make--bombs for instance, or strawberry shortcake--if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place that it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it has floated out to sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you'd made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning." - The Austere Academy (Book the fifth)

"If you were to take a plastic bag and place it inside a large bowl, you could use the expression 'a mixed bag' to describe what you had in front of you, but you would not be using the expression in the same way I am about to use it now. Although 'a mixed bag' sometimes refers to a plastic bag that has been stirred in a bowl, more often, it is used to describe a situation that has both good parts and bad parts. An afternoon movie theater, for example, would be a mixed bag if your favorite movie were showing, but if you had to eat gravel instead of popcorn. A trip to the zoo would be a very mixed bag if the weather were beautiful, but all the man and woman-eating lions were running around loose." - The Ersatz Elevator (Book the sixth)

'Although "jumping to conclusions" is an expression, rather than an activity, it is as dangerous as jumping off a cliff, jumping in front of a moving train, and jumping for joy. If you jump off a cliff, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful landing unless there is something below you to cushion your fall, such as a body of water or an immense pile of tissue paper. If you jump in front of a moving train, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful voyage unless you are wearing some sort of train-proof suit. And if you jump for joy, you have a very good chance of experiencing a painful bump on the head, unless you make sure you are standing someplace with very high ceilings, which joyous people rarely do. Clearly, the solution to anything involving jumping is either to make sure you are jumping to a safe place, or not to jump at all." - The Vile Village (Book the seventh)

"Of all the ridiculous expressions people use--and people use a great many ridiculous expressions--one of the most ridiculous is "No news is good news." "No news is good news" simply means that if you don't hear from someone, everything is probably fine, and you can see at once why this expression makes such little sense, because everything being fine is only one of many, many reasons why someone may not contact you. Perhaps they are tied up. Maybe they are surrounded by fierce weasels, or perhaps they are wedged tightly between two refrigerators and cannot get themselves out. The expression might as well be changed to "no news is bad news," except that people may not be able to contact you because they have just been crowned king or are competing in a gymnastics tournament. The point is that there is no way to know why someone has not contacted you, until they contact you and explain themselves. For this reason, the sensible expression would be "no news is no news," except that it is so obvious that it is hardly an expression at all." - The Hostile Hospital (Book The eighth)

"One of the most troublesome things in life is that what you do or do not want has very little to do with what does or does not happen"
"It's hard for decent people to stay angry at someone who has burst into tears, which is why it is often a good idea to burst into tears if a decent person is yelling at you."
"The sad truth is that the truth is sad" - The Carnivorous Carnival (Book the ninth)

"Having an aura of menace is like having a pet weasel, because you rarely meet someone who has one, and when you do it makes you want to hide under the coffee table." - The Slippery Slope (Book the tenth)

“The expression “Fits like a glove” is an odd one, because there are many different types of gloves and only a few of them are going to fit the situation you are in. If you need to keep your hands warm in a cold environment, then you’ll need a fitted pair of insulated gloves, and a glove made to fit in the bureau of a dollhouse will be of no use whatsoever. If you need to sneak into a restaurant in the middle of the night to steal a pair of chopsticks without being discovered, then you’ll need a sheer pair of gloves that leave no marks, and a glove decorated with loud bells simply will not do. And if you need to pass unnoticed in a shrubbery-covered landscape, then you’ll need a very, very large glove made of green and leafy fabric, and an elegant pair of silk gloves will be entirely useless.” - The Grim Grotto (Book the eleventh)


Typical though, I lost the twelfth book “The Penultimate Peril” somewhere in our lovely housework, so I couldn’t find any interesting quotes… Not like anyone’s honestly going to read this anyway. Okay guys, that’s enough of my scabby rambling… I hope you guys read the books, they really are just plain freaking awesome!!
Anyway, sorry to bore and scare you all!!
Lovered your Haunted
xoxo






User Comments: [1]
insomniac_raven
Community Member
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comment Commented on: Fri Nov 24, 2006 @ 07:36am
O.o
o.O
O.O

That is fantastic! I love him so much.. he takes something that seems to be so simple, and makes it complex in a simple way. There are not very many people who can do that, and some who do make no sense at all. I applaud his genious. *claps hands*

Much love,
Raven
XoXo


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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