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well...it seems like i just ******** everyone i care about over......with the things i want to feel and not want to...i have no idea what the ******** i want to do.......i want to be in a relationship and gte over my last one but i am afrade it might end the same way........i realy want to feel love again...but yet i hate it and shun it from my life............i have no idea what i should do......plus the way things are i just might move away.........so.......i know my master might read this and i am sorry for all i have done to her....and everyone else........plus i might lose another friend.....^^ o happy day....i might lose someone else to death....so..yeah......and i know i can not take losing some one else...i do not know her very well....hell i ever forget her name but she still is a friend...and i ******** swear i will be damned if one of my freinds die on me again............RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ******** HATE THIS!!! I CAN NEVER ******** BE HAPPY!! SOME GOD DAMN THING ALLWAYS HOLDS ME BACK! FOR ONCE IN MY GOD DAMN LIFE I WOULD JUST LIKE TO HAVE LOVE AND NOT HAVE SOMEHTHING BLOCK ME FROM IT!!! BUT I ALLWAYS MAKE SURE THAT I NEVER HAVE IT FOR REASONS THAT ARE SO EASY TO TELL BUT LIKE ******** I WILL TELL!!! EVERY GOD DAMN TIME I MEET A REALY SWEET GIRL THAT ******** NIGHT WHERE TO FIRST GIRL POPS RIGHT INTO MY HEAD! AND NOW MY EX POPS UP IN MY HEAD AND HOW MUCH IT SEEMS SHE ******** ME OVER!!!! .............................for once.....all i want is to be held by someone i know loves me...so i can cry in there chest and know....no matter what they will allways be there for me.......and i would not have to worry about them hurting me............... ........i guess it is to much to ask for me to feel love and know its true............ *sings softly* .........Wishing on a dream that seems far off. Hoping it will come today. Into the star lit night foolish dreamers turn there gaze...Waiting on a shooting star. But what if that star is not to come. Will there dreams fade to nothing. When the harisen darkends most. WE all need to beleave there is hope.....Is an angel wachting closely over me. Can there be a guiding light I've yet to see. I know that my heart should guide me but. There is a hole within my soul. What will fill this emptiness inside of me. Am I to be with out no we. I wish then for a chance to see. Now all I need. (Desperately) .....Is my star to come......