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RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I ******** hate this life! All that seems to happen is i worrie the people I care for. And now I want to kill one of them! And the ******** nightmares never end. Every time I fall asleep they are right there................It allways happends....It will never end I think.......Plus they just get worse and worse..........And I am ******** sick of it......Everryone wants me to be happy and s**t...well....I have no god damn clue what being happy is........Plus I never want a relationship. Seeing how the last one ended.........I never want one again.....I swear to god I am better off dead. Every one says ""Oh I kknow how it is...and I feel so sorry for you.."" And bullshit like that. But NO!!!! No one ******** understands.....My life is my own hell. AS long as I am alive I am not happy or can ever be happy. The more I live the more reasons I can come up with for me dieing.....Plus no one can understand......It hurts to live so badly......And going on day by day...knowing that I can never feel the wramth of love....and feeling the sword and betrail stabed threw my chewst again and again......Never ending as long as that person's name is in my mind....... *Punches a wall a few times till hands bleed* .....No one can ever grasp how much I hate this...no one can ever understand all of my pain and sarrow.........no one can ever see how truely sad i am............