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I miss who we were. I wish I could have done things so differently. It's been two years already and yet still every now and then I find myself thinking about you. I wonder how you're doing right now. I wish I could just hit you up but I think you made it clear the last time we spoke that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I miss staying up with you on late nights, talking through discord even though you were on the other side of the planet.

I miss reading to you. I miss reading the scripts from my jobs to you. Then when the film is out we'd watch it together and I'd break it down to you with the behind the scenes info and pictures. I miss that. I know when I nerd out on things you were just there to listen. I miss listening to new music with you and I'd break it down for you on a production + music theory level. I miss writing music with you. To this day I never finished the BL song loop, but every now and then I listen to the others we made.

I miss sending you pictures of pink things because that was our favorite colour. I remember walking through the botanical garden and we'd video call and I'd show you all the pink flowers. I miss singing to you. I miss you telling me about the stars and astrology, I was never really into that stuff until I met you. I felt like I could be just me when I talked to you. I never really felt like that about anyone before. I wish you were as open to me as I was to you. I know I ******** up by losing you.

When I went to the beach last summer I thought of you. I still wonder what the beach in Greece is like. You told me you loved it there. I miss you Mari. I wonder how you're doing now.

- r.k.s