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They would rather i lie.
Dress up in smart colors.
Put on a smile and keep my
personal matters
to myself.
When I bring them up I guess it is
harder for them to ignore me.
If I hide them,
they can pretend I don't have any.
Like I guess I should as well.

Then I guess,
There is nothing wrong.
Everything is fine.
Just FINE
There isn't anything wrong so you don't have to ask anymore.

What? You weren't asking?
Then I must have imagined.
I must have imagined that whole
Long monologue of an answer
to "What's wrong?"

It would make a lovely play, that sililoquoy.

I forgot there isn't anything wrong.
Everything is fine.
I'm saying all the positive things, I'm smiling, I'm not saying a word about-

Under my colors, is black.
I'm lying. Like you asked me to. So discreetly.

Edit: I remember this. I was upset, Tony had done something. And Ford told me to "keep my personal problems to [myself]". Granted this was before I really knew Ford, but it made me rather angry...because I was trying to escape this journal, only to end up right back in it as you can see.

Sorry, Ford, you did get an angry poem aimed slightly at you. But this also definitely smacks of consistently hiding my feelings from Tony as well. Because I bet everything I have he had no idea he hurt me enough that I actually had to talk to someone.