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*sigh* thinking what might happen on my b day from one month from now. hmm but hopefully i will be happy and i know who will make me happy. and he knows who he is and no i'm not planning early i just cant stop thinking what might happen on my b day and hopefully no one causes anything with me because then my b day will be bad. its hard u know i try to help out and bring up the mood but ppl think i am doing it wrong but i just really try to help others and make ppl happy but when i do that it has always gotten blown in my face like i be treated badly. and i try my best at being a friend i'm not perfect i make mistakes just like everyone else and some ppl just think i am just perfect well u know what its time to prove ppl wrong i'm tired of getting pushed around for no god damn reason. i feel like no one loves me except one. he is the only one that understands. life isnt fair but u got to face the facts and just go through it. ppl expect me to be something i'm not. i want to be myself not something they want me to be. and no one knows what me and he has been through i mean if u ever lost a loved one when u were two years old wouldnt u be left in the dark and feel u are left all alone and feeling not loved but i am loved by one person. i feel that i cant trust any of my family because they blab it and it gets on my god damn nerve.