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crying crying

Sometimes, when I feel there is a God...that he has forgotten about me, and that the only one who does know me is Lucifier (Devil) because I have more bad days than good.

Today, I fell carrying luggage to the car. Luckily I fell on top of the suitcase. But i still ache. I also have my menstrual, so moody hormones on top of bad S**T is my life.

In my family, I'm the one who has ALL the bad luck, alone in life, while other's have a fiance, or husband. Me, I chose to be a loner because of all the friends that have metaphorically stabbed me in the back over the 38 years of life.

I'm tired of playing "high school" immature games, I'm tired of "drama" and most of all I'm tired of all the lies.

I stick to myself, I don't bother anyone, but apparently people can't leave me alone. I hate everything about me. I hate everything about life. I'm not a HUGE fan of people, but there's that unrealistic dream I have, to have friends etc.

I'm just done.