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I have never felt so alone in my life. After yesterday, being hurt so bad. I can't just snap my fingers and go back to the way our relationship was. I have decided not to let myself get that close to anyone again. So if someone can ever say, 'It's over,' than it won't hurt so bad. My surivial instincts are kicking in and telling me to leave so I won't get hurt anymore, but I just can't. My instincts are also telling me that I need him, I can't live without him. I have decided not to let the relationship become what it was before, it's just going to be an oh hey those two are going out. I care about him, but not enough to get hurt like that again. I am crying now, all I can do is cry, and say I want to be alone. But I can even be alone anymore. I am so scared of myself, that it's not even funny. He did this to me to teach me a lesson because he said I was too dependent on him. I know I was, but I told him, and he knew that, I have to have a person to make me happy. I am incapable of making myself happy. I just can not do it, I don't have the function for it. Now I can't even look him in the face or hug him good-bye. This afternoon while we were waiting for my bus, I didn't say anything to him, I just stared at the concret. He will never know how much I hurt. He isn't able to even begin to know. I hurt so much. It hurts so bad. There's nothing I can do, except keep myself from loving him as much as I did before. That will solve everything or at least I hope.