Indeed it is. I thought I could go without experiencing all the drama and things like this.
I think this'll be a more serious sort of blog, and actually, I intended to write it (well, I did once, but my laptop died on me -shakes fist-) a long time ago, the first time was at 11:11pm and yes, I did make a wish. -big breath- Well, here I go...
Situation One--
So, I'm sure I've written this, but kids in my French class are often very... slow. I don't hold it against them as a person, but there's this specific corner of the room labeled the "Delinquent Corner" by the people who sit there themselves, that just is obnoxious. One of my friends is in there, so it's somewhat hard to full on diss that part completely, though she very much gets along with and fits into the crowd there and the area's label. After class, I leave with my friend and another guy friend to go to our AP English class. Anyway, on the way there she tells us that one of the kids in that corner that she really likes has a father that beats him and threw away most of his things. This made me more sympathetic of him, whereas the guy with us stated that he didn't really care about their problems and went on disliking them. I asked her why nobody calls Child Protective Services but she says that she doesn't want to create more problems for him. I don't know what I'd do in that situation. . . I'd like to say that I would call without a doubt or hint of hesitation, but I'm not that resolute.
Situation Two--
This one is actually quite a while back. Two years ago, my freshman year.
I caught sight of these huge gashes on one of my friend's wrists. And I mean, almost a centimeter thick and a few inches long and standing off of her skin.
I feel guilty that I said nothing to an adult about this. But some other people did, and the next day she asked me if I was the one who had said something. I told some friends about this, concerned, but I quickly said 'No' afraid that I would lose her trust. Thinking back on it now, I seem like an idiot. I should have been more concerned about her losing her life! Her mom soon found out, and she talked to me about killing herself again because her mom was going to force her to go to a psychologist. I'm guilty once more, because I, again, told no adult.
She's still alive now, thank goodness.
Situation Three--
One day was Stay Alive at 25 where we watch these graphic images of teens and young adults (most car crashes are by those younger than 25) who because of their, or someone else's reckless behavior lost their life. There were images of people whose backs were broken and flung out of a car, their legs completely bent above their heads. Some limbs were no longer attached. Despite this, some kids texted or made fun of the video. I cried during it, and I was appalled by those who paid little to no attention.
Situation Four--
Math class, after all the notes were finished, the girl who sits in front of me and confides a few little things here and there asks me, "It's worth it for me to not get hurt, even at the expense at another's, right?"
I'm silent for a while and reply, "Well, what do you mean? Are both of you not able to not be hurt?"
"No, not really. It's either, he get's hurt, or we both get hurt"
"...is it emotionally or physically?" I ask, thinking it's something with sports since she's very active or she was going to have a fight with someone later. Both not good things, but not as severe as what I was about to hear.
"Physically. So, one of my friends lives in this ghetto area and joined this gang," she pauses, and looks at my surprised face. "he didn't do it intentionally though, one of his friends just asked him, 'Hey, can you do us a favor' and when he went there it wasn't exactly what he expected." I interject a few unsure "Uh-huh"s here and there amongst this. "Then the next day he quits, but they're coming after him now. He talked to me, though we haven't seen each other in a while and asks 'Hey, ______, can you do something for me?' I'm afraid they're going to shoot him, but if I come they might shoot me too. And I can't call the cops because then he would go to jail, Now, I don't know why she would have to come, but that's just how it went.
"Well, I wouldn't go. There wouldn't really be any point in you both getting shot, right? But you know, if he does get hurt, you need to call the cops. What did he do? I said absentmindedly not realizing until after that I could have chosen better words.
"Well, be basically did everything but kill them." referring, I'm guessing to some poor victims. Right now, I'm remembering that there was a boy found dead in front of his high school... Like, paralyzed them, and stuff. So what should I do?
"Y-you can't possibly ask me to make that choice for you, I-- she looks at me straight in the eyes and I feel cornered. "Can't he just run away? So they don't get him? And she says or signifies, that he can't. "I wouldn't go, it's too dangerous. But really, call the cops if something happens. I'm sure he's prefer being in jail than dead." I pause. "Not that I'm saying he will be..." and the conversation fizzles with a light "Yeah..." from her.
"You can't tell anyone about this." and I consented.
What should I have done?
Situation Five--
A month or so ago, I was working in my French workbook, it asked me if I admired my grandmother.
I wrote in French, "No, I don't admire her because I don't know her qualities" We were doing adjectives, and I couldn't really think of her qualities honestly at the moment.
I was proud of my sentence structure. But the next day, my father told me that she had passed away. My mother was already preparing for a trip to go see her since we knew she was very sick and had cancer. Upon closing the door that my mother was in, packing for her trip and telling her the news, I heard my mother scream and wail. I don't know how long it was, but it felt like hours. It really, really was horrible to hear as I'm sure one can imagine it would be. I, in another room sit here feeling horrible and utterly guilty. I thought, "If I hadn't put that in my French notebook, would anything have changed? Why couldn't I have just put yes, and some good qualities that I knew?" I guess it seems sort of silly to think that, but I did. I wasn't crying at first, never having been that close to my grandmother, my heart panging more for my mother, but then I thought about the stories my parents told me about when I was a baby. They told me once that I used to cry every time she walked by and didn't pick me up. I go in when my father asks me to after my mother had gone silent, him having to take a call to those living with my grandmother (she's in the Philippines) and I sit behind my mother silently. We hug and both cry.
High school is difficult now.
I'm weak, and feel like a horrible person after writing most of this.
Perhaps I'll learn from it all though. . .
[ Fae-zzle Pop! ] Community Member 
|
|
