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i let it slip
to a friend of mine
all the things I've thought
because it isn't enough to write them on the page
and have them scream back at me
i needed another to talk to
but it wasn't you, it couldn't have
because you'd hate me, remember?

i told him how it kills me
how i think I'm crazy
how it hurts
because i needed to hear someone's soft advice
because i needed someone to know that underneath
I'm broken and weak, and not alright!!!!

i've opened myself
and cut out the words
that i couldn't bring myself to say
I'm letting it loose, like doves and bats
i've cut the threads around their necks
and they practically kill themselves
to get free and fly away

I'm letting the secret i've kept go
like spiders and fire flies
shaking out the webs from a jar
i call my heart, that has been so filthy for years
the fire flies ignite, lighting the way through the dark
that i hid from you
that i lived in, and you never noticed

i let it slip
i had my catharsis
my exorcism
i freed my demons
but they're all right here

because i
haven't
told
you



yet