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Ok picking up from my last entry. New beginnings...well yea a lot has happened since I wrote that entry. A lot of bad happened. RIP to those seniors that were suppose to graduate with me this year........

Prom was awesome, until my date danced with my best friend lol. Had this sick limo oh yea life was good. Got All league player this year oh yea biggrin and mv of my team double oh yea biggrin

finally graduated....oh this calls for a Kevin garnet battle cry. *trys to do a battle cry* lol. Ok anyways moving on. But dpesite all the bad and good that has come and passed my way...I think the greatest thing I have ever done this year is..........
Let's go of past.

A dear friend of mine, she really cared about me. So much so I shared basically my whole life story to her. And she was trying to get through my big head that I am suppose ot be happy no matter what has happened me.

Being happy wasn't my thing. My happiness came and went like the moon. And I'm sure most of you can relate to this. At one point I wasn't going to let it go...but when she told me that it was tearing her apart knowing I was living life without being happy. That made me feel horrible inside. For what I was doing was causing her pain inside.

I couldn't allow this to happen. I couldn't live with myself knowing that what I was doing was causing someone else pain. In the end I eventually did let go. All of it from beginning to end. Took all I had but I did it. YAY!!!!

But I admit there were times I thought I'd never let go of the darkness.
Yet here I am writing this entry super late at night lol.

To all of you who are reading this. If you are holding onto something that happened in the past. Whether you did it, cause of it or it just happened to you. It is best to try and forgive those who hurt you. And most importantly forgive yourself.

Yes we may have the right to feel what we may feel anger, sorrow etc. But we have to let it go. Or we will never move on with life. And ultimately it'll destroy you. And as you lay there in yoru grave, people will morn and be sad but they will go on and live their lives. Don't you think you can start over despite what had happened?

And for some of you, you have been fighting all your life. Don't you see? You already won. You won because your here today, living, breathing, reading this journal entry. The only thing that's stopping you is you not letting go of the past. trust me you'll feel a lot better once you have done so.

I was thinking, the rest of what I want to say I should put in another entry but what the heck I'ma keep writing in this one. The girl i spoke of. I thought she was the one. but here recently I realzied she isn't. if it was meant to be then it wouldn't have turned out this way. We are still friends but no she is not the one.

So I'll keep looking. still single, about to turn another age and still single....since birth. Go on laugh all you want but it's true. as life goes on I'll keep moving on too. But I also realized something. The women of this world...though they may no tbe the dominant force. But they are the ones who strengthen the men in their darkest moments.

Women have this natural thing to make a man feel that he can do anything. And not only feel that way but actually do it. We can not explain this but its true. She's helps us, they guide us and comfort us.

yet we men protect her. By any and all means necessary. From the daily walking with her to the park to the ultimate sacrifice so that she may live on. yes it may hurt becaue it may not be what he had wanted it to be but it's the truth. We stay behind so that she may escape. Whether by herself or with her baby.

This hurt me a lot when i realized this but it's the truth. it's the way things are. Yes we men maybe retched. But we will always be the one to do the ultimate sacrifice. We do crazy and extreme things just to see her live, smile, laugh with her again, cuddle with her again.

Men need women
Women need men
no if and's but's about it.
That's it
That's all