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I've been meaning to write here for sometime, but as each day passes I almost turn a blind eye to the chance. I find my life is not on such a demolition track as my previous entries may have led you to believe. After all, if life where so bad, I would find next to no inclination to continue it. With this in mind, I'll always remember an experience I had long ago when I was but a child, coming back one day from school.

It started as most things do, because of a girl, and in the same sense, ended a girl. I found myself captivated by this person, and as a kid, had very little in mind except myself at the time. I spent so long walking her back, that it soon got dark, and I headed on home. Fearing the buses had stopped I walked. and it took quite a while.

Yet unbeknownst to me, my parents had been worrying for quite a while, after the sudden disapearance of their son, and indeed not a peep from him since that morning, as I had been at school. It was only once I had walked the might miles back to my street that I saw the scale of impact that I had left, spotting search parties made of distraught friends and families, which lead me to realise...I have a place in this life, if I vanish, if only for a moment, the hole I would leave in the hearts and minds of those I know and love, would be quite a chasm.

Indeed it was after meeting those so ready to score the roads and streets for me, that I apologised and gingerly hugged my mother and father. They had missed me, and in a moment any fear or doubt I had evaporated in an instance. Indeed, before hand I had challenged my very person and being, I insulted myself at every turn, becoming my own enemy. Yet by the end of it, I reasoned this. If so many would be touched by my death, who then am I to open such a pandora's box. What right do I have to bring such feelings into their lives.

For the time being everything seems to be going well. And it was only yesterday I went to a fair and bonded with my friends. I could almost see the retroesque, "sims" friendship ++ symbols over their heads, as we had such a fun day. Not saying there was not low parts, but in a sense, my very presense managed to swerve off confrontation and any ill feelings. I kept friends together and helped them resolve their problems rather than duke it out. I am the unifier of worlds apart, and the glue of their now newly-forged friendship.

And then, my friendship with the one I most desire is not yet concrete, but I feel I am bonding, I just hope she sees what I feel about her. And that even if things don't happen as I would wish in the best of times, we last as friends through the rest of time.