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*is siting while smoking a cig*

She said she still has feelings for me.......yet she somewhat acts other wise.......She said she loves me....yet she is happier then ever........i said we would never part and we did....she is with other now and better off......I know not of what to do..........i want her back but i want her to be happy........she is better off now while i have grown dark.............lost within my mind she still haunts me.....the things we once had.........the feelings we once shared.....gone noe forever.....locked away within the darkness i try to find my way out......but....slowly......i lose myself within the darkness............my feelings slowly slip away......as do i with my kin..........i long for her....yet keepmyself away from her...for fear of what i might say or do........hope i do she reads not of this.........i have grown to another.....let still i slowly slip away from everyone........locked awaywithin my own doors.....i still think of what i once had.......and wish i never gave it up.....thou know i did it was never to last as i so had wished it to........her gentle words......her kind embrace.......the sweet nothings we wisperd to one another.....gone now........my life nothing now.........huanted by what once was...and what could have never been.....i long to say " please my dearest come back to me.......let me wrap my arms around you like once was.......please.....let me feel the kind warmth that gave me hope...and reason to live..........come back to me my dearest love......let us go back to olden days that once where...and can be again..... " ....but no......for i know all to well it could never be...doomed i am to watch her be happy with one she has allways longed for..............i was such a fool to think the things i did.............and even more of a fool i was for buying that damned ring........ *eyes gently start to water as he lights another cig* week later i was going to ask her to be mine forever...........but...........deep down i had known it was never to be....yet still i tryed my damndest to try to make her mine....i so long to speak with her...yet when i do it only brings be deeper into the darkness......for i still long for what once was.......my feelings for her have left me some......but i stilllong for her.......thou she knows not how much....nor will she ever...........I still gase at her pictures I have of her.......and remeber of times from past..........and remember times long ago......my body grows weak....so very weak.......well i am alone i allmost pas out from the pain i feel......when with my kin i allmost drop to my knees from such weakness..........and was of such with her............she knew not of such thou...for i have hidden it......i fear one day she might read this and see how i feel........and how weak my body is..........why i must allways sit after whiles..........memories of ones i once knew still haunt me......there screams of pain.......and me just watching them........all i have done.......all i have caused................ *eyes have stoped being slightly teary* ...........i long to cry....yet i can not........my soul forever raped in darkness..........my true face is nearly coming......and i fear the day i show my true self.......for then i know i shall truely be alone..............i fear such day........for once i have true fear..... *lights another cig* .......arms,chest, and face.........show the true sights of my pain......but none can show my soul..............i curse the gods for curseing me to be alone threw all time..............all i have ever wanted...was to be loved...........and yet they take it away from me........many loves i could have....and can........but know i not if i should.......for she still huants my soul...........forever tuanting me in my mind...............forever lost.............. *lights another cig* to be damned for all time to be alone......and forced to live not by my own will........tis truely my hell........to see one i so long for happy and never to know the joys we once shared again...........to never know joy again.....happieness...........glee......................................love...........forever locked in shadow is my place in the god forsaken world.......so....in shadow I shall remain....till my time finaly comes......and i can rest eternal more.........Shadow..........for what I am cursed to lerk in for all time......Zero......for i have no love.....and shall never again.........this is my curses...this is my name......this.......................this........this is who i truely am.......a demon.....cursed to never know the truths i have sought to find.......

Shadow Zero