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<.< >.>

Yes. I have had a mush experience. OMG. WTF. Yeees.

Today has been, quite possibly, the best day of my life so far. I went to my first anime convention as Professor Oak and was hugged by many people, totally rocked the skit competition with six friends and my boyfr... Sorry, I'm still having trouble with it. Anyways! We rocked the skit thing, I bought two awesome wallscrolls, obtained pocky, got 13 pictures taken with my group in the first 15 minutes we were there, met people I hadn't seen in years, made new friends, watched Skye earn a massive male fanbase onstage, and had a ******** BRILLIANT time. But... there's something I'm not mentioning that was the very best part of my day.

I actually got time (semi-)alone with Stefan.

We were left to guard the various things for a half-hour while everyone else went off and did their thing because we had about an hour before we actually had to do s**t for the masquerade. We could actually talk about serious things without getting called emo for being so serious. I learned more about him from that one conversation than in the two-and-a-bit years we've known each other. Some of it I'm still having trouble believing; other parts, I can't not understand.

Well, the former applies really to only two things: one, that I'm the first girl to show any interest in him, and two, that he thought he never had any romantic attraction to a girl before. Okay, former: quite honestly, he's a camera whore. A recent journal entry gave a few examples of what adjectives I would use to describe him. They're all positive, as far as I know. I just don't get how any intelligent girl could not see all that in him. That, and he's got those damn eyes with the pretty and all. >< The latter: I just... well, he's so... okay, maybe it's plausible, but... agh. If anything, he's probably got more hormones going through his system than the other guys in his circle. I mean, dude! It's not like I'm asking if he ever loved somebody...

Loved...?

He...

He doesn't...

Know if...

Ah, goddammit. Not with the emo. Onward. Everything else, basically, I completely got. Also learned that he makes a good pillow and that his hair is ********' perfect. Jesus Christ on a stick painted blue, I felt it and it was just... OMGSOFTSHINYNICEFLUFFYOMGOMGOMG<3<3<3. Well, I didn't say that. But I want to know what the ******** kind of conditioner he uses. Whatever it is, it smells good, too.

Well, I found out that this is a guy who knows himself, who can carry on a serious conversation, who can express humility, who can show his emotions, and...

I love him. Not like I liked N. This hurts. The fact that he's not repulsed by me, that he'll actually come and sit next to me and hug me... I don't know why, but it hurts. I just want to be with him so badly. I want to learn from him. I want him to learn from me, what little I could teach him. I want him to at least remember me, if nothing else.

I want... him.

But will he let me catch him?