I look back on my life. I see nothing but self pity and hatred for those around me.. God.. what did I turn into? A drugee, a complete failure, someone who didn't care how they were portrayed. I just looked for my next high. I looked for my pills. Any pills. Just something to keep me relaxed. Something to keep my mind off reality.
I wanted to feel good. Something I still have yet to feel. Everything is just.. indifferent to me since then.
I can look back.. Barely understand what was a dream or what was reality. It just blends together now.
I'm not bragging.
I look back, and I get sick to my stomach. My eyes fill up with tears. What did I become? I don't know.. I don't want to know. I don't want to remember. I want the last year of my life back. I want my whole life back. I want to click restart on a non-existant ******** button.
Give me my damn life back.
I didn't think I would get hooked. First it was one thing... then another. I took it a step further. Taking my life into my own hands. It's not my job. It's not.
So I was headed down a hill and I couldn't stop myself. And all through it, I was thinking of you. I pity myself.
Today, I've been the best I've ever been. Tomorrow, I'll be the best I'll ever be. And the day after that.. and the day after that...
I can't escape who I was. I regret becoming that who I feared I would die portraying.
To me, life is a game. We play the game of life. No not that really cool game on the computer or playstation. I'm talking about real life. Reality. And this game, we get hurt. We love. We die.
We fall down and get cuts and bleed. We can't restart when we mess up. We accept our decisions and move on. We regret, but we move down.
We love. We cherish those who are close, and are afraid to lose them. Looking at them is just one of those little perks. They make you smile for no reason... You love.. Truely love.. only once.
"No love, No friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."
- Francois Muriac
I can merely say I am sorry. I'm sorry...
I wanted to feel good. Something I still have yet to feel. Everything is just.. indifferent to me since then.
I can look back.. Barely understand what was a dream or what was reality. It just blends together now.
I'm not bragging.
I look back, and I get sick to my stomach. My eyes fill up with tears. What did I become? I don't know.. I don't want to know. I don't want to remember. I want the last year of my life back. I want my whole life back. I want to click restart on a non-existant ******** button.
Give me my damn life back.
I didn't think I would get hooked. First it was one thing... then another. I took it a step further. Taking my life into my own hands. It's not my job. It's not.
So I was headed down a hill and I couldn't stop myself. And all through it, I was thinking of you. I pity myself.
Today, I've been the best I've ever been. Tomorrow, I'll be the best I'll ever be. And the day after that.. and the day after that...
I can't escape who I was. I regret becoming that who I feared I would die portraying.
To me, life is a game. We play the game of life. No not that really cool game on the computer or playstation. I'm talking about real life. Reality. And this game, we get hurt. We love. We die.
We fall down and get cuts and bleed. We can't restart when we mess up. We accept our decisions and move on. We regret, but we move down.
We love. We cherish those who are close, and are afraid to lose them. Looking at them is just one of those little perks. They make you smile for no reason... You love.. Truely love.. only once.
"No love, No friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever."
- Francois Muriac
I can merely say I am sorry. I'm sorry...
Community Member
These people do something that we would never do, and they do it with ease and grace. Nothing is spectacular about this feat, nothing mystical or magical. Their skin touches the burning embers just as ours would, and the heat burns their skin, same as it would our own.
And the elders say this: "To stop is foolishness. Looking down will only bring you pain."
In countries unlike our own, this is a ritual, a mark of passage. It teaches men and women that they have no time to look down as the road they travel, or to look behind them from where they came. That on the path of fire that is life, you must take each step after the last, because to stall, to feel pity and pain for your standing is to be consumed by the flames.
Stagnation leads to a fiery death.
And so, in countries unlike our own, people do not complain about hardship, nor do they dwell on past pains and current toils. They do what they must to get to the next step, because taking the next step takes their mind off the pain, and protects them from the burn.
Take the next step.