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Theyre constantly happening inside me and maybe the enemy knows from keen insight, or maybe they're oblivious. It feels like im the only one it affects, but maybe it isnt. I got confirmation that since its silent, its easy to ignore and continue. So this war is mine alone.

I alone suffer the consequences.

But I can't stop declaring them.

To sound them would be... an entirely different war out of my control.

to give them voice would give them power and then its alive and growing at a rate i can't measure in time.

i declare another silent war today... or maybe the first one never ended. its hard to count the silence...

how long have i been silent

how long have i been at war

and if so, to what end?

there are no terms of surrender but love.

and that alone sounds ridiculous.