Why do I want to? I mean, i like making people laugh. For a moment I tickled something in their souls and we connected and its such a high. My love doesnt know how much pride I get from making him laugh. Toughest crowd but the most rewarding.
And what would I even say in this comedy show? Its nerve wracking. I always think what the f is wrong with me. Why do I add more to my story? Why do I constantly need more trials and hurdles? Why cant I just be?
But noooo, I want to write romance novels, to be a comedian on the side sometimes. a poet, a singer, a dancer. Whyyy why whyyy. All I want is all that can kill me from outside judgment. Writing, dancing, singing, making jokes. Its all quite outside validation and I hate it. I dont want to be judged for my passions. I want to impress, inspire, and something else that starts with the letter i. innovate? maybe i don't know. Its being booed so bad? Are people still that cruel even with the bullying and cancel culture out to get us? Am I really going to do this? rofl
