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I cut myself tonight, for the first time in over three years. I thought I was stronge enough not to be swayed by those that were unpure, those that thought they had no life, but alas I was wrong. I tried to help him, I honestly tired my hardest, and it wasn't enough. After I tried to kill myself three years ago, I pledged to help all those who used to be like me. I spent the three years studying, thinking, and reaching a level of the human mind that very few have reached. I have realized more than most, yet it wasn't enough. What could I be missing...perhaps...God? I have not once mentioned God in my atempts to help the boy. I said I was going to pray from him, but I have not. Could this be my own fear taking control once again? I remembered that I used to not fear death, I would embrace it, and it would turn me away. Now it seems to haunt me, posining the minds of those with weak emotional states, of those I'm trying to help. Why? Why? Why is this happening God?
 Arrea Delano · Tue May 30, 2006 @ 04:53am · 0 Comments |
