I really don't feel well right now. So time to rant? Of course! What self-respecting psychotic person would I be if I didn't? I dunno. If been wanting to type really bad... so why not type out a few pages of the first chapter of the book I am reading?
I never said I wasn't bored, after all. So here we go. I absolutely adore this book. The Vampire Chronicles are my favorite of all time. (Just thought I'd say it.)
If you like the first few pages (which later I'll add the rest of the chapter) please buy the book! In fact, buy the whole series! Buy every singe novel written by Anne Rice. It won't be dissapointing, I promise.
I never said I wasn't bored, after all. So here we go. I absolutely adore this book. The Vampire Chronicles are my favorite of all time. (Just thought I'd say it.)
If you like the first few pages (which later I'll add the rest of the chapter) please buy the book! In fact, buy the whole series! Buy every singe novel written by Anne Rice. It won't be dissapointing, I promise.
Blood Canticle Chapter One
I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes--.
Wait a second.
Do you know who I am?
I'm thinking maybe you're a new reader and you've never heard of me.
Well, if that's the case, allow me to introduce myself, which I absolutely crave doing at the beginning of every one of my books.
I'm the Vampire Lestat, the most potent and loveable vampire ever created, a supernatural knockout, two-hundred years old but fixed forever in the form of a twenty-year-old male with features and figure you'd die for-- and just might. I'm endlessly resourceful, and undeniably charming. Death, disease, time, gravity, they mean nothing to me.
Only two things are my enemy: daylight, because it renders me completely lifeless and vulnerable to the burning rays of the sun, and conscience. In other words, I'm condemned inhabitant of eternal night and an eternally tormented blood seeker.
Doesn't that make me sound irresistible?
And before I continue with my fantasy let me assure you:
I know damned well how to be a full-fledged, post-Renaissance, post-nineteenth century, post-modern, post-popular writer. I don't deconstruct nothin'. That is, you're going to get a full-dress story here--with a beginning, middle, and end. I'm talking plot, characters, suspense, the works.
I'm going to take care of you. So rest easy and read on. You won't be sorry. You don't think I want new readers? My name is thirst, baby. I must have you!
However, since we are taking this little break from my preoccupationwith being a saint, let me say a few words to my dedicated following. You new guys follow along. It certainly won't be difficult. Why would I do something that you find difficult? That would be self-defeating, right?
Now, to those of you who worship me. You know, the millions.
You say you want to hear from me. You leave yellow roses at my gate in New Orleans, with handwritten notes: "Lestat, speak to us again. Give us a new book. Lestat, we love the Vampire Chronicles. Lestat, why have we not heard from you? Lestat, please come back."
But I ask you, me beloved followers (don't all stumble over yourselves to answer), what the Hell happened when I gave you Memnoch the Devil? Hmmm? That was the last of the Vampire Chronicles written by me in my own words.
Oh, you bought the book, I'm not complaining about that, my beloved readers. Point of fact, Memnoch has outsold the othe Vampire Chrinicles completely; how's that for a vulgar detail? But did you embrace it? Did you understand it? Did you read it twice? Did you believe it?
I'd been to the Court of Almighty God and to the howling depths of Perdition, boys and girls, and I trusted you with my confessions, down to the last quiver of confusion and misery, prevailing on you to understand me for why I'd fled this opportunity to really become a saint, and what did you do? You complained!
"Where was Lestat, the Vampire?" That's what you wanted to know. Where was Lestat in his snappy black Frock coat, flashing his tiny fang teeth as he smiles, striding in English boots through the glossy underworld of everybody's sinister and stylish city packed with writhing human victims, the majority of whom deserve the vampiric kiss? That's what you talked about!
Where was Lestat the insatiable blood theif and soul smasher, Lestat the vengeful, Lestat the sly, Lestat the . . . well, actually . . . Lestat, the Magnificent.
Yeah, I like that: Lestat, the Magnificent. That sounds like a good name to me for this book. And I am, when you get right down to it, magnificent. I mean, somebody has to say it. But let's go back to your song and dance over Memnoch.
"We don't want this shattered remnant of a shaman!" you said. We want our hero. Where's his classic Harley? Let him kick start it and roar through the French Quarter streets and alleys. Let him sing in the wind to the music pumping in his tiny earphones, purple shades down, blond hair blowing free.
Well, cool, yeah, I like that image. Sure. I still have the motorcycle. And yeah, I adore Frock coats, I have them made; you're not going to get any arguments from me on that. And the boots, always. Want to know what I'm wearing now?
I'm not going to tell you!
Well, not until further on.
But think it over, what I'm trying to say.
I give you this metaphysical vision of Creation and Eternity here, the whole history (more or less) of Christianity, and meditations galore on the Cosmos Big Time-- and what thanks do I get? "What kind of novel is this?" you asked. "We didn't tell you to go to Heaven and Hell! We want you to be the fancy fiend!"
Mon Dieu! You make me miserable! You really do, I want you to know that. Much as I love you, much as I need you, much as I can't exist without you, you make me miserable!
Go ahead, throw this book away. Spit on me. Revile me. I dare you. Cast me out of your intellectual orbit. Throw me out of your backpack. Pitch me into the airport trashbin. Leave me on a bench in Central Park!
What do I care?
No. I don't want you to do all that. Don't do that.
DON'T DO IT!
I want you to read every page I write. I want my prose to envelop you. I'd drink your blood if I could and hook you into every memory inside me, every heartbreak, frame of reference, temporary triumph, petty defeat, mystic moment of surrender. And all right, already, I'll dress for the occasion. Do I ever not dress for the occasion? Does anybody look better in rags than me?
Sigh.
I hate my vocabulary!
Why is it no matter how much I read, I end up sounding like an international gutter punk?
Of course one good reason for that is my obsession with producing a report to the mortal world that can be read by just about anyone. I want my books in trailer parks and university libraries. You know what I mean? I'm not, for all my cultural and artistic hunger, an elitist. Have you not guessed?
Sigh again.
I'm too desperate! A psyche permanently set on overdrive, that's the fate of a thinking vampire. I should be out murdering a bad guy, lapping his blood as if he were a Popsicle. Instead I'm writing a book.
That's why no amount of wealth and power can silence me for very long. Desperation is the source of the fount. What if all this is meaningless? What if high-gloss French furniture with ormolu and inlaid leather really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things? You can shudder with desperation in the rooms of a palace as well as in a crash pad. Not to mention a coffin! But forget the coffin, baby. I'm not what you'd call a coffin vampire anymore. That's nonsense. Not that I didn't like them when I slept in them , however. In a way, there's nothing like it--but what was I saying:
Ah, yeah, we're going to move on, but--.
YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL I FINISH TYPING IT ALL OUT!! XD
*ahem* Well, anyways.... I hope you liked the first couple of pages... and I hope you'll stay tuned when I post the rest of the chapter.
*ahem* Well, anyways.... I hope you liked the first couple of pages... and I hope you'll stay tuned when I post the rest of the chapter.
