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So I have just over a week until my family packs up for a visit to the shores of Alabama where we'll stay in a nice little condo for a family reunion. Honestly, I can't wait. I'm ready to get away from everyday life and just relax.
But I still have so much to do. As of yesterday I am unemployed. It was a stupid move... but it felt right.
For a long time now I've been complaining about my job at the studio and so my husband has been telling me to quit. But I haven't exactly been looking for a replacement job very hard, so I figured I would put in my two weeks after an ordeal we had over the scheduling and my seasonal second job and that should give me that extra push, right?
Sure. I've been looking harder. I've been applying more... But genius me thought it would be easy to get a new job. Instead of finding something better I've managed to wind up with no job at all and one interview lined up with a place that won't hire me until July (IF they hire me at all). Thinking about it, I want to throw up... because I know I'm putting a lot of crap on my husband's shoulders.
We're coming up on two years of marriage now... he doesn't need me being a burden to him so early on.
And I'm really starting to wonder why he chose to have me. I'm reading this book called "Why Men Love Bitches." It's great so far... but depressing. Everything it says the "Nice Girl" (pushover, clingy, needy type) does... I did. I don't have a bit of b***h in my body.
And we're not talking about the kind of girl that will treat a guy like poo. It's more so the kind of girl that will stand up for herself, is independent, and has an opinion. The kind of girl that has the guys chasing her instead of the other way around.
Of course, realizing the mistakes I've made has made me even more conscious about whether or not my husband is getting bored. We didn't have much of a game to our relationship. I put him off for a week... and then stuck to him like glue and snatched away his freedom.
He told me the other day that his buddy invited him to move to Florida... and had he not been married, he immediately would have taken up the offer. But I'm holding him back.
I don't mean to... but I guess I just haven't learned how to be on my own yet. Being jobless doesn't exactly help much, either.
Hopefully I can fix that... soon.