Javaid Yafeu Milani
The Goddess Psyche
The Goddess Psyche
Love is not love; Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no! it is an ever-fixed mark; That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
[Shakespeare]
[Shakespeare]
It had been seven months. Seven months had been perhaps the longest time he had been in a relationship since he left university. That had been years ago. Since then there had been many relationships. Many women in and out of his life, but none that stayed. He wondered often if it was he that pushed them away. There had been a few women he wished he could have pursued. There had been one in particular that captured his attention in a way no other could. And, she had merely been a woman in town for a few weeks. What should have been a one night stand turned into a bit of an obsession for him. After a year of searching, he finally gave up. Though, he would admit every time he went out he always seemed to be looking for that woman. That was then. Now, things were different. He met a wonderful girl. And, though he wasn’t in love he wasn’t far from it either. Michelle was the type of woman he could envision having his children. She was smart, beautiful, successful and though she was ‘independent’ she still liked it when he did small things for her. Javaid was old fashion in the way he thought about relationships. He did appreciate a woman wanting to stand on her own two feet, but he didn’t understand why they would demand to do so when they had someone willing to help them. It was the human ego slipping in. Javaid seemed to have issues with things like human ego and all these other concepts that were being taught to people on a daily basis. In his psychology classes he was always debating with his professors. He didn’t know why people needed know more about existing problem. Instead, he was focused on fixing that which was already wrong. Why look for another level of blame when you could be busy fixing what you already had? People called him eccentric and he would admit in that perhaps he was. Javaid was twenty five years old holding a Masters in English, with a Bachelor’s degree in philosophy.
His life had changed drastically since college. Even his thoughts and attitudes seemed to have matured together. He was glad of that because he would hate to feel like he was waiting on some big change because one thing was left behind. Too many times, he heard that same speech. Something’s missing and I don’t know what it is but when it happens I’ll know. People were so dependent on things happening for them they didn’t want to go after what they desired. Everyone was becoming a bit lazy.
Javaid shook his head, “ You’re becoming a bit depressing old boy. Come on now! You’re moving to a new city and you’ll be closer to the woman you envision having your children! It’s possible in a few years you could be married. No need to sully this event with such depressing thoughts! It’s a good day! So, enjoy it. ” With that said, he turned his radio on to listen to something a bit more entertaining than his thoughts. He could indeed be very depressing some times. But, the more you knew it seemed the more depressed you became. Javaid would agree there were some days that were meant simply to wallow in depression! There were days to rant about it and to write about it. But, today was not one of those days. Today was a day to pocket depression, stuff into a box and shove it into the attic of your mind to be looked at later.
Earlier in the morning, Javaid headed to his new house. It was pretty amazing, the place had a great view. He didn’t even know how to describe the look of it. The house itself was art and it was a place he could see himself living in, being inspired in. And, that was important for him. Javaid was not only a teacher at one of the local universities but, he was also a writer. Before he agreed to the move he looked at the houses that were available. He didn’t think he would have been so eggar to move if he had not found a space to suit his need for a creative environment. Luckily, the agent he worked with found a place that suited him perfectly. He could have been more pleased.
It had taken him all but two days to set up everything. His girl friend, Michelle had been over a few times to help him unload. They had their first dinner in his place. He cooked for her and they watched the sun set. It had been a nice time. But, tonight she was inviting him over to her place. Javaid tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. Music was an addiction. It was no wonder people wanted to be like musicians they were their own ‘earth’ bound gods. They made you fall in love, cry, hate, rage and think all in one. They were pretty powerful people. And, the fact was that they rarely ever went beyond high school. It amazed him every time.
Javaid turned off the main street and entered his girl friend’s neighborhood. Her house was the tenth on the left if he recalled her instructions correctly. Which, he didn’t because he nearly drove by the house. Had he not spotted her car he would have continued down the road. Putting the car in reverse he drove back to park outside the front of the condo she shared with her best friend. Javaid had yet to meet this best friend. Things either came up for him or they came up for her. So today was a big day. He was mildly excited to finally meet this mysterious best friend. Grinning he shut down his car and pulled the gift out from the seat next to him. He pushed the door close, made sure it was locked and then headed to the front door.
“ The day of reckoning has arrived!” Girl friends could be brutal. The last thing he wanted was some instant I don’t like him for you speech. Or worse, some things wrong with him. I didn’t like how he was looking at me. Some women could be so insecure they couldn’t even take the gaze of a man. And, Javaid was a man that enjoyed looking at beautiful things. He did have one rule though, he enjoyed the look but he never broke the agreed bonds of a relationship. He never cheated. While he might indeed look ,he would never touch. This was something he had shared with Michelle before. But, it would be up to her if she wished to believe him or not.
Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door. Jay wondered if he should have shaved the light stubble that was on his face before he came over. His right hand ran down his face. The hair was rough, but not abrasive, they weren’t long enough yet. Today, he was wearing a blue polo. It wasn’t dark nor light...one of those medium colors that had some name that was not familiar to him beyond blue. His jeans were black and a bit baggy. He might be a professor but he was still young and a bit vain when it came to his appearance. What? No one was perfect, and Jay was far from being a perfection.
His brownish green eyes spoke of mischief and trouble. Even in the class room he was a bit of a trouble maker. He enjoyed teasing his students and making them think above and beyond. Usually he only taught a few classes, but they had been full. The school wanted to keep put him to full time but he declined. And, shortly there after was offered another job in the city where Michelle lived. They talked about the change and both thought it would be a good idea so he handed in his two weeks noticed and here he was. On his way to becoming a part time teacher and a teacher for the local youth writing school. He would be teaching high students with exception English grade with an interest in Creative Writing at the youth school in the early mornings. And, later in the afternoon he would have three Creative Writing course at the University.
Yup, he was going to be a busy man. Hopefully, it wasn’t too much work and he could finish his novel, as well as spend time with Michelle. Michelle, Michelle why wasn’t she opening the door? Javaid knocked on the door once again. Maybe they hadn’t heard him the first time. Where was the little noise maker? He looked around for the buzzer, door bell....whatever people called them these days.
