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"the wise"

the one who helps
the one who's there always
a heart who aches
for pain not his own
he wants to help, to build, to fix
while he is alone, broken, and demolished.

But with wisdom comes pain
the suffering of death, pain and rejection
the knowledge that true love is only an arm's reach away
yet his open arms repel love
the tools by which he made his name
mar and scar the love he so longs for,
wants, and needs.

his wisdom ensures his lonliness
an everlasting eternity of abondonement
and dismay
he waits and wants for repose, peace, slumber
but wisdom never sleeps
a constant torrent of thought
a harrowing burden for an innocent soul.

~andreas

"if only" (not angsty?!?!!!? what is this?!?!!?)

i look at the stars and all that i see
is your smiling face looking at me.
i look at the sky in the mid-day
and i see your face and hear you say
"I'll love you forever, 'till the end of time.
I'll love you forever, you'll always be mine"
"if only if only" i say to myself
as i put your picture back on my shelf.
"unfortunately--" i start with a sigh
"unfortunately you had to die"
"I'll love you forever, I'll have you in spirit."
i still love your voice and i still long to hear it.
I'll keep you forever, you'll be in my heart.
You left me too early we barely could start."
"if only if only" i hear you say
"i lived to love you another day"

~andreas.