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always remember someone, somewhere. They're always there.
painted heart.
“Painted Heart”

My heart is painted to cover the scars
All the iniquities on a beating canvas.
Each stroke cuts deeper than the last
Carved by a vicious, malicious artist.
The hand that was gentle now turned to a weapon
Wielded by a heroic villain.

The gentle hand is now cold blade
Each stroke spawns a new bane.
The villain slashes and hacks
Cuts and tears until all that’s left is a shred.
A diminutive piece of a fool’s eternity.
The last fragment of a forgiving soul sacrificed
For the sake of his art. Destroyed and defeated.

My heart is painted to cover the scars
All the iniquities on a beating canvas.
The innocence of love marred
By the flick of a wrist or stroke of the brush.
A heart carved to pieces by a cruel friend
A loved enemy and a heroic villain.

My heart still beats awaiting the artist’s return
Faithfully, diligently welcoming the excruciating blade.
Awaiting the torture for the chance of feeling.
Inviting the heroic villain to create upon the beating canvas
To scar the heart and tear the soul
To shred the life and cut the spirit.

I wait for the artist to start
Blade in hand he raises and then carves the canvas.
I smile as I feel blood rush out.
I feel the gash and fall to the ground.
A smile on my lips,
I fade into the abyssal eternity.
The artist is finished.

My heart is painted to cover the scars.




i took this down for yami and now she insists that i put it back up so here it is.






User Comments: [7] [add]
MysteriousSoulreaper
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Oct 01, 2008 @ 03:19am
Reminds me of Sweeney Todd. What can't I say? It's gruesom, sad, elated, wrenching, lots of other powerful adjetives. ^^ I'm jealous. My diction is always so plain and simple next to yours. I suppose it's style. I always try to ryhme. Yours are much more evoking. I'd say my poems would appear in a childrens book, but yours are much more adult. 3nodding The repitition is wonderful too. :}
The message is certainly clear which can be tough for such serious poems but I think you've pulled it off quite stupendously. biggrin
Multo Bene.


commentCommented on: Wed Oct 01, 2008 @ 04:28pm
*gives you a standing ovation* Very nicely done. Now, to be a element we like to call comic relief. I was listening to "Malchik Gay" while reading the poem. blaugh



Ashy-Fly
Community Member
Madlibzz
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Oct 02, 2008 @ 01:33am
Uhmm I like it, but it's kind of like mine.
I lurveeeeeeee It!


commentCommented on: Thu Oct 02, 2008 @ 01:36am
this sounds alot like olivia's.

i'm not trying to offend you.
or say that you plagarized.
but the metaphor is the same.



tamagotchipapi
Community Member
everlasting elegy
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Oct 02, 2008 @ 02:28am
i know it is similar to yami's but it came to me a while after reading hers. see i wrote this and that is what i feared that too many would look at it and see a similar metaphor and not really take it for the thing i wrote but the simialrity to Yami's. ut oh well i like it and i in no way plagerized yami. i though to myself tat i kind of sounds like hers after the fact i had written it. i would appreciate real criticism to improve my work not it sounds like this. thanks. and i am not offended i am just saying that i'd rather have he criticism.


commentCommented on: Fri Oct 03, 2008 @ 02:00am
You may not be offended Andreas. But I personally feel like my work has been stolen from me. This isn't all about you, it's about me as well and that I put my time into a poem. I don't write very much to begin with, and I was very proud of it. It doesn't feel unique anymore. I'm sorry, but I am offended.
Purple.



Madlibzz
Community Member
MysteriousSoulreaper
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Oct 03, 2008 @ 03:21am
Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Though the metaphor truly is different. I mean I understand where they're coming from but still. :/
Must be the artist's perspective theme that is so similar? Just means it's a great idea is all.


User Comments: [7] [add]
 
 
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