|
Once again I come to the keyboard to make yet another entry in a series of papers, I know as a journal. I usually never keep a journal, the thought of my secrets being able to be viewed by the public if I ever messed up seemed…to risky. Now I see that this may be the only way to cope with the large array of feelings hat I have, if this can help me get through the day, then I’m willing to keep one. What is troubling me right now is this girl Her name…is Sarah O’Brien. What bothers me most is that I have such immense feelings for this girl whom I barely know. It’s a strange sensation it is. Just wanting to comfort her, hold her kiss her, and yet I know the girl no better than I know how to swim(I completely suck at swimming…). I been trying to tell her how I feel, and I have several times, but not strictly to the point. It seems that my heart has been captured by the lovely spell of this girl. I have absolutely no solution to this ongoing problem. I want to be with her, but does she feel anywhere near the same way about me. I could just ask, but I’m not that brave enough. Even if I did, the fear of rejection crosses my mind. I cannot handle another damaging blow to my heart. If I suffer any more damage I’ll be forced to craw bad into the cold steel shell from which I emerged from just this year. I fear for the worst, for my luck has never been good. Even if Sarah and I were to be together, it would not last forever, and it would only end in ruin. For it is my destiny so, to never be released from these retched chains. One thing I dream of is to fly, metaphorically of course. Just…to be free. Not to have to deal with all of this rushing, this race to get nowhere. What ever happened to happily ever after! I don’t think it ever existed at all! I’m sick and tired of this life, it seems like every thing is meaningless. Go to college? What for? So I can set myself up for an education that is useless for the most part. So I get a good paying job, most peplum don’t even enjoy their jobs. I don’t want to end up miserable. What ever happened to adventures, are they only fairy tales? What ever happened to doing something, just because its fun? I think the downfall of man are themselves. We think too much. We overcomplicate things to be ten times as worse as they would normally be. When simple solutions are hanging so ever obviously in front of our eyes. People, humans, most are blind to the truth, wrapped in an intricate web of lies they know life. Its all a game, we’ve nearly lost every round. Sarah…my friends…what will happen to them? What’s in store for those who actually try? The innocent. They suffer at the whim of the evil. That’s what happens. Slaughtering each other, countless murders. For what? Why slaughter your own, human against human? It makes no sense, its as if 90 percent of the world is insane. I mean, is everyone on crack? I see people at my high school; they look miserable when “work” is mentioned. Some are so stressed out they commit suicide. Cutting themselves, or others! All I’m saying…is…that humans aren’t meant to be miserable. Then why is almost every set up to break you down? False hope, promises never to be fulfilled. This world, there is very little happiness left, but there is plenty of madness to go around.
|
Community Member
I have the same feelings. I know what it feel like to have liked someone but not knowing what to do. Let me tell you something. I once like this guy (probably still am even though he has a girlfriend) because i thought that he's smart and all kind such, to which he portrays it several times while we were talking. Yet, it turns out, he's a complete jerk! I just sat outside the line and observe his actions. Why don't you do that first before falling madly obsessed/in love with this girl? Is she worth it? You don't even know her that well.
We definitely think too much. But that's life. God build this world to test mankind. If we can't face the challenge, then we surely have fail without trying. Would you want that?