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More And More
Christmas is here.
Got many gifts.
But I am not happy.
Christmas for me.
Is when I dress up something I am not.
I feel like a fake.
But I want to my family smile.
Because I am want they want for once.
That is my Christmas gift for them.
But til they day is over.
I'll be myself again.
Free and flying.
What I am is not what they want.
But I do not care.
I should not care.
For they long for things that might never happen.
I am sad to see them look for things in the future.
When they will never be satisfied.
They will keep on wanting more and more.
It will not end.
Til they look at what they got.
Here and now.
I can see them smile more and more.
But I cannot change then.
They have to change them selves on their own.
Til they ask for help nicely.
I will do so.
I love you so much.
But all I can do is show you at a distance.
I apologize for not being what you want.
At the same time I am not.
I am happy the way I am.
I am proud to be me.
I find myself being so happy.
Just being myself.
I smile more.
I laugh more.
I am being true to my heart and me.
As long I have people in my life that accept me.
They I accept myself as well.
Hehe.
Christmas for you is me being what you want.
Til its over.
Your dream will be gone.
I am sorry.
But I do not want to be fake forever.
I still love you lots.
Let's be happy more and more.
But for reasons that exist here and now.
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