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sex......
overrated.
domineering.
risky.
ect...
than what is the drive to do it?
for me, it is no longer about pleasure, without much feeling and predictable actions in bed, sex is no longer something that I look forward towards more than , say, eating pizza.
Also, from an outward standpoint, to be frank, it is gross. Sounds, smells, secretions, nauseating repetitive motion, in fool positions?
could it be that I want to have a legacy or prodigy? no, not even that. I do feel that I could take care of a child and steer him or her in the right direction, but still I fear that I am too young to be fully depended on by anything that can' make it's own choices yet.
pleasure,
heirdom,
procreation,
senses.
none of these are the dominating reasons for my drive.
the true reason, deeper than the physiological, is that during sex, both of our guards are dropped, no more knives in the pockets, no more words to be bent. mutual trust without need of understanding. and afterwards the ability to rest with that person, knowing that they won't hurt you, that is my drive.

the interesting thing is that even with my constant innuendos, and flirtations, the ultimate goal is not the same as my peers. I would be just as willing to be cuddling beneath a blanket, watching a movie as I would be to have sex. either way I would be happy.