what should I do?
should I try to rectify old friendships?
or should I run towards different ones and leave those others to rot?
what matters to me more?
I wish it was as easy as choosing one.
the first causes me unbearable strain, the second guilt for not fixing what I screwed up. part of me wants it all to end, but taking a sword into my skull is not a choice I still have open to me. say I had someone to talk to, what good would it do? talking my problems out may make me feel better, but it is damnable that it will do no good for my dilemma.
changing myself for my old friends is hard enough, changing their ideas of me, however, is impossible.
I am getting a stress headache so I am going to stop now.
if anyone wants to fight me, please do, getting knocked senseless or being able to relive some stress would help me a lot about now.
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