*sigh* mrow~ ._.
I've had sufficient sleep, sufficient mental distance from the causes of my stress, and sufficient time to think for my thoughts to wander down many odd paths today.
I was pondering... how do we truly know what is our strongest or deepest desire? Is it the one we've felt for the longest? The one that brings us the most pain if left unfulfilled? Even if we know it, and don't confuse it with something that is merely a possible means to a larger goal, is there any way to be sure that it will remain of paramount importance to us?
How can we really know, after all? How do we know that five minutes from now, we won't step around a corner and discover something new, something wholly new about which we never before had a breath of thought, and which will utterly change our desires? We really don't. We can't.
Then... what matters more isn't what we desire but what we decide. The decision can be to simply follow our desires, like an infant, who changes what he wants on each whim, fickle as the wind. Even that, though, is a decision.
So then decision is what makes the difference. We can decide to remain true to an original desire despite encountering something new. We can decide to abandon it in favor of something unknown and seemingly more wondrous. Promises aren't kept by our nature. Promises are kept by willpower, enforcing and fulfilling a decision made, following it through until the course decided upon has finished.
What is your heart's desire? Do you truly know? Even so, could you ever be sure that it wouldn't change? Would you decide to follow anytime that it did? Should you? Follow your heart. Follow your head. Keep your promises. Don't let things hold you back. Reconcile it all and achieve a balance.
Balance seems to be something always strived for and never attained.
Edit @ 11:45pm: I was thinking about this again tonight. Take it a step further. If the decision is what makes the difference far over and above the desire itself, then perhaps... that is what determines success. I read a book recently in which the main character says there are two types of people... 'yes-definitely' people and 'well-maybe' people. Yes-definitely people are sure of themselves and Well-maybe people tend to want to rethink things because they admit they might be wrong and there might be things they don't know.
So perhaps those who achieve what they desire are the Yes-definitely people who decide to follow that path to the end without wavering. We Well-maybe people are too busy questioning if this is the path we should be on, or if we really should be elsewhere.
Maybe? Well, you know which one I am anyways!
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Kava's Ramblings
Insights, Observations, Scenes, Thoughts, and other miscellenous and etcetera from the mind of an online nut...
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Kava
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Grawr?Rwrz!
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christastar Community Member 
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christastar
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Kava
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Some people are old and/or wise enough to understand many of their true desires and wants. Unfortunately there are many people who do not truly understand what it is that their hearts truly desire. Personally I know that I want to be a great psychologist, it's been a dream of mine for at least a good decade, and I have many great skills with it as well. The path to self-discovery is filled with many traps, but if one works hard enough at it they start getting enough experience to understand their deepest thoughts and desires. You're as cool as always Kava-chan heart