Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

o.O...um sis? Are you ok?

Hey, you gave me advice, and now I can give you a lot of advice on this. I've been bi-curious since I was born (though I realised it at the age of eleven). I have a huge attraction to women, but I've never dated one. It's okay to be bi-curious. Don't worry about it.

And as for worrying about telling people, that's completely normal. Some of your friends may be uncomfortable with the idea. But that's completely natural. For me it took me until this year to actually come out. Almost all of my friends know that I'm bi, and they're okay with it. A lot of them, I thought wouldn't accept me, but, after a little while, they all come around. If your friends are real friends then they won't have a problem with it, and even if they do, they'll be able to look past it.

And as for your boyfriend, as long as he knows that you love him, he shouldn't have a problem with it. In fact, if he's anything like most men, he'll like the idea. As for him telling others, until you're ready to come out, let him know that you'd rather if he didn't go around telling everyone.

And it's okay not to be sure. The true term for being bisexual is to want (and enjoy) sex with both sexes. For now, you're happy with your boyfriend and need not discover the truth. Someday, if you're no longer with your boyfriend, don't be afraid to experiment, because that's the only way you can actually know for sure.

Good luck ^-^ I hope I helped. You can PM me if you want to ask me any questions, or get anymore information from me.

I read it.

Speaking as someone who's finally decided she's bi, despite not having any sexual experience with either sex, I think it's very hard to decide. It took me literally wavering on the subject for six or seven years before I said to myself, "hey, self, you really are having romantic feelings toward other women--I think this defines bisexuality".

Speaking also as a member of a religion that doesn't condone homosexuality, whether you're bisexual or simply lesbian, the ultimate moral choice I made for myself was "I am bisexual, but that doesn't mean I need to sexually experiment with women to confirm it."

Sartre's works, though those of an atheist and an existentialist, are incredibly liberating. The stance of existentialism is that I am only what I define myself to be--Mormon, bisexual, tomboy--which means that all my labels are internal constructions that I have agreed with and chosen to support. Which means that if I later decide that I'm straight, or a lesbian, or that I in fact wish to have hot wet sex with trees, I can alter my labels with no real feeling of cognitive dissonance.

I am what I define myself to be. You are what you define yourself to be. Are you bi? Do you define yourself as bi? Do you want to be seen as bi? Then you are. You don't need to experiment to find out, and you don't necessarily need to feel guilty that you're sexually attracted to other women, too--because you also get to define the labels of "promiscuous", "monogamous", and "chaste" on yourself. Granted, there are socially acceptable tags that follow these labels that you'll need to follow for other people to accept 'em, but in the end, it's your choice to decide who and what to present yourself as.

From the social standpoint, I've outed myself to coworkers and some friends. They've been remarkably accepting--but then, I live in California, where this is pretty much par for the course. smile

--CVirus