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What would you rather have? being able to give love, or to receive love?

both would have been nice. XP .... you could give love by doing the simple things you are doing now, like reading my thoughts and showing that you care. like letting a friend borrow lunch money...like raising your hand in class when nobody does....or to care for somone sick or having a bad day. the littlest things would matter a lot to somebody else. just being there is great...and that's when you have true friendship where you can be able to recieve love back as you give it...

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yup yup. :3 i don't really care for girlfriend stuff.....hahaha. i remember that having a 'lover'/love was all i needed...well...i was wrong. i've had great friends...of who have stayed with me for so long, even if i'm not there all the time. and when i least expect it...they say something nice or do something for me. that makes me feel so great. but each time i can't do something for them i feel like crap. so, yeah! yup.

*hiccup*. i wanted to make a rose! lol. like the computer ones that are lines.

i do wish for something new to happen....but more important things concern me, and i just can't mope around all the time, cuz time is precious....i try to do something, and each time, i keep forgetting to study or blah or blah....but i do that to hang with friends or family. i never get to see them on schooldays. it's like, what...like, 3k students in our flippin highschool? lol."as big as a college campus" .... says the students of Deer Valley High. "i hate it" ~ says others. "it's dangerous"~ says some parents. it's not dangerous if you're not involved with those dangerous things....i never even realize the expulsions and crap. i just go on with my normal day, stay good, join a sport...blah...

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i haven't typed in here lately. my sleeping patterns are the same. but i don't care for this laptop much anymore anyway. i think i want the sun back. the sun gives you energy...as they say.... lol. but then i'll be like "IT'S TOO HOT"....during vacation..lol.

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money, power..yeah....you have to work hard either way, if you have money or don't, in order to SUCEED! sure... i don't have much money;; but i still try to work kinda hard. XP i have like A's and B's. mostly B's. but, that's good. lol. cuz, my grades went up. I'll join KEY club ----> a community service club... in like...may...iono....lol;.

i finally gave ate[h] cesel her envelope from may....that may gave me to give to cesel like 2 weeks ago. lol

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i hate when i do something wrong. i end up always doing the same thing. ~spending extra $ ...extra time on computer...... extra 'gossip' that i'm not suppost to be hearing. like reading 3 out of 8 pages of these letter things that this chiq wrote to dude on track team. as i read it, it thought it was normal, cuz i'm used to that stuff. like, writing in it for a week, then give it to the person, like a friend's notebook you pass around. why do people make it a big deal if blah blah blah, ya know?! lol;;; so, sorry to dude on track team whom i will not mention, if he reads this <<< distance track....pilipino dude......anyway.....hahaha......

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what else to say?
"each time you take a bite out of something you like, it's taste shall diminish" ~----something like that. from Mr. Kish, world history teacher. He's right..that represents music....television...and what you do everyday. Each time you keep going on....it's harder and harder.....

just like life... need something new....
so, i'm afraid that if i get in a relationship, i might get tired of that person or something.....which is evil...and evil!! ...
i wouldn't with kids, cuz you see them grow up everyday...each year....they keep changing....the only thing that changes is life....
so, i guess i was wrong...there's something new everyday you could do to change it.....to want to keep going.....
but, in order to do something else....you have to like, find out for yourself.
that thing to me is running :] it's great. most people can run faster than me...but i still keep trying...and i believe in my team...
even though the coach focues on certain people...i have to stick it out on my own till i'm able to catch his attention.....

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um......yeah.....i hate when i dont know about what i'm doing. i only get basic ideas. during class....like, people can't freaking spell the most simplest of words!!!!! it's sooooooooooo annoying.....lol. the flipping highschool exit exam is like 7th and 8th grade crap!!!! MY GOSH....everything is so disorganized....blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. once education is at it's "peak" level.....we're all dead. haha. n.n cuz cuz...perfection means.....imperfection. lol. XP P:
i remember having a fight about perfection...lol;. whatever <<

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each time...i hear that the greatest athletes are the one's who aren't the best.....it's the ones who keep going, and going! that motivates me....lol.
cuz cuz;; i remember on the radio this morning....a great runner's mom, yeah, her mom said that she wasn't a great runner....hahhahaa. lol. and now, she is. =D . as long as i keep going, i'll be able to get where i want to be. n.n .....so......ya.....

even though i get A's and B's...i'll get where i want to be! n.n lol....

I ADMIRE people. on some envious levels, but i know that if i want to be like them, i have to work hard and such. but nope, i'll follow the path i've set in front of me as i admire their path. n.n it's alright with me, as long as i get to the end of my path.
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people having problems...you know what they need? they need that 'one day alone' ....one day of not remembering your past...nobody calling....start a new day....a "day away" .....yeah.... iwant that...but, i need a car first....haha. well, i think that's enough blabbering. haven't blabbered in a....er...like 2 weeks!

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one trouble though.....is that i still feel seperated from my friends. like, half and half are like in a 'war'. lol. it's like world war I. some have chose their own sides and blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! lol. but still, at least i'm not denmark or netherland or whatever that got invaded by the Germans. lol. XD anway......yeah...seperated. i go to practice everyday after school...so yeah............................. *sigh*

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family....like money wise...i have to stop going on the computer....i have to lock it away somewhere....lol. XP cuz like, i need $40 for track SPIKES and $75 for transportation fee....lol. <<<

i feel bad....i have to spend my mom's money.... u.u. ..... . .. ... ...... i need to call my dad tomorrow then......lol....i said i'd do that for like a week....but BLAH...lol. cuz, we need more $$. i pigged out like 4 hours ago on food we bought! OH MY GOSH...SO HEAVENLY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAH! LOL. i took so many bites, that i couldn't take anymore.....and i didn't want anymore.....ooh well. lol. wait till like later today. 1:30am...been typing since almost like 1am...better go sleep. practice in like 9:00am >...like...6 1/2 hours from now? lol.....bye....