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I dream...
one day i shall be come happy,
to the maximum point..
that once that day comes,
nothing will stop it from coming...
that a person would be there waiting,
waiting for me to give my heart...
just for us to be happy together,
no matter who they are...
i just want to smile,
a bright white one...
forever it shall glisten,
as long as i have that person..
of who carries out my dream,
and to be happy for as long as i can smile..

Happy St. Valentines Day!

it is the story of uh.... i forgot? haha. showing love...i have to read that story again just to remember. lol. ya know, i've been watching love movies like "Why do Fools fall in Love?" ... it's a touching/interesting/kinda funnie....along with thise one that i'm watching...as soon as I find which uh...side track as it came back... 10:55PM now. lol. about 40yr old woman, who still looks young, finds a 20yr old man by going to Jamaica. yeah....says it all. complications, but still having that bond. I wish I could find someone like these two characters that the actors are portraying. First, I feel as I have to find myself, but to d that... I need the key..and maybe that resides in soomeone...but, that is the way I have been showed, by tv, words, and the heart. That is the way of humans and others alike...what I wish I could have...a dream...

WTH WAS THAT MOVIE?! IT JUST ENDED! AND NOW....I CAN'T FIND THE TITLLE! RAWR!!!!!! lol. oh well. Surreal Life 4 is on....that means soon I have to watch.....I MEAN.... go to bed..


it is hard..just to go on day by day..wanting to give up and take a break..but to have a future, sacrifices are necessary in order to become what I wish I could be.
blah..more drivvel. lol.

"The Notebook"
"Phantom of the Opra"
"Mulan II"
-------- the dvds i WANT!!!! HAHAHA. lol. er..movies...phantom aint out...so...i'll wait...*sigh* ..ate[h] cesel's fried said it was good...so did a bunch of other people....meh. her cousin's kewl, open...yeah! lol. it's like the people from Daly City were in their own group/world. I felt outta there. but, doesn't matter, i'm no good person/conversation person anyway. I just listen as the other person speaks about themslelves..other's lifes are worse compared to mine....but at least they're able to experience it themselves, instead of watching behind a glass window~ as my life is...but, pity isn't good..but....MY JOURNAL PEOPLE!!! lol. n.n

I CAN'T TAKE IT HERE.....!!!!! lol.
in my own happy-go-lucky mind...i say "f** hw....i'll do it later. WHY DID I SIGN UP FOR AP/HONORS CLASSES? HELLA LAZY!" ....on the other "I need to study more, and get away from the food. i wish i didn't live here, with these people and for all my friends to go away so i can study, exersise, and become more educated to make my future better"...

WTF?! I HATE MYSELF! I'M GUNA CRACK! lol...ok, i'm not, but, i eat myself up..i never like hurting peopole...i don't want my friends to go away, because' they're as far as they need to be already. i'm far from a group...i have not much blah..my life isn't as beautiful as i wish it was...nobody's really helping... i mean, the junkfood needs to stop...i don't understand why mom takes some cookies away from julius! he has like a bag in the famiy room, one in the kitchen, COOKIE CRIPS SERIAL there to...and some in the pantry! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! and there's old chips and cheese nips WAITING for me! lol. yeah, i have mentality to cope with and to change self-control... BLAAAAAAAAAAH! CHEESE FOOL! SUGAR! I'M STILL TEENAGER..lol. WHAT?! i don't even want to start drinking. cuz cuz...once i do, i KKNOW i will not stop...cuz I easily drain sorrow by eating....drinking stuff..like juice? HAHAHA. lol. but fatty foods, greesy...it makes me sick..thinking that if i eat that, the greese will appear in my face...haha, the only way to avoid it. everyone's skin is so smooth and stuff..mine's like my dad's! lol. at least I know i'm not as short as my parents..and hopefully, I grow up taller..andi 'm lucky to be born in the suburbs of America...but just because that's true...doesn't mean I regret stuff...and that I wish i could feel the hotness and sweat of living in Philippines, being poor....but I was special and still am being babied as we speak...

It's hard to believe I have school, I have been enjoying my time ....three day weekend, but i guess I do need to get some aiir...heh heh...

enough...about this stupid thoughts.i haven't typed like that for a while..lol..just typing whatever the hell is on my mind...BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. kids or marriage... alone or with friends...intellect or happyness... because...I want it all ..but, i'm human... without any special gene combinations.. a "God Child" ..as what they said in the movie "Gattaka" ....a God Child like most people... if we were to kill the genes what makes us us...then, what'll happen? we'll all look different with no differences? that would be meaningless...we'd have no more heros....it'll be all peace. that's why there's yin & yang..that's the way it always is...but i just don't know smetimes..where i can be..who i can be....where i could be... what can make me...blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. lol. i think i'll go now, g'night! lol ~11:40pm..too lazy to read everyone's journal.


feel bad for not wishing happy st. V-day to everone... u.u i keep forgetting....all the time...including last year's xmas, this year's new year & chinese new years....and people's b-days.

*lies* 11:44pm ..i lied..i'm concerned about what some people's journals' say..just wana know what's up. XP