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Yeah, I'm back. Effi didn't prod me to blog this time though.

Turns out my mom emailed all my teachers asking for my exam marks. I didn't do as well as I thought I did, and in certain cases I did just as bad as I knew I did. This was just for french and civics though. Turns out my mum had a lovely phone conversation with Madame Robitai about my performance in every possible aspect of my life. She said glowing things about me and then said my marks 'disappointed' her because she 'knew' I could do better.

Well, then they started layin' onto me. About how I was a bright and brilliant kid and they were glad that when we moved here I got into a good crowd of intelligent people. But how my marks were not a reflection of that and they asked why I didn't do well. I tried the normal I dunno's and I figured I did better'n that I guess I didn't. Didn't work, so I figured I'd try this newfangled thing : The truth.

I told them why I didnt do well in those certain courses, about why my marks had dropped in a few of my other courses. I told them it was because I had no motivation. Because I didn't care about those courses. Because I thought the courses were stupid and that it was completely my fault, but I knew they wouldn't understand and how it wasn't my fault that the marks weren't their own reward anymore.

Big mistake, I was right, they didn't understand.

So I got to sit there and take it, all the s**t about how civics was an important course and that there wasn't anything I could do about it but i was suppossed to do well even if I didn't give a damn. And then they started to threaten me.
~Loss of privilages,
~Less social outings.
~No Montreal trip,
~No trip to Cleveland.
~Make me quite my job,
~Make me quit BWWE,
~Make me quit band.
~Less friends
~They threatened to make me break up with Scott.

They said that dreaded line. "It was for my own good ". Then they let me go. I couldn't help it, I really couldn't. I sat in my room and cried for a bit. My dad then has the nerve to freggin' come in and ask me why the hell I'm crying. I said nothing, that it didn't matter. I told him to go away. He didn't. I re-explained the entire thing to him. He said I was being emotional, wuote him "A bunch of freaking hormones". I said that was fine, he could just go away. He left with a "Fine, I'll leave you have your little melodrama moment". Melodrama my a**.

Well I learned today that it really doesn't matter if I stand up for myself or I'm a doormat, my parents lay into me when they want to and attack at the few things in my life that are important. And I'll tell you, it's not Cleveland or band. They don't understand, they'll never understand. Ever. They say they understand what I'm going through, but they don't. They don't understand that if I don't like the material I'm not motivated to do well. They don't understand how much my friends and Scott mean to me. They just don't. I don't know why they even want to try.

Buggers.

Beccy