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I'm through, i hate having a heart. I hate caring. I hate it all, it doesn't matter in the end. Nothing does...nothing ever will. Not for me at least.

I think this is it, i've hit rock bottom.
I'll admit it, i don't care if she reads this. I want her to know. Cause its the truth, chances are. This will ruin our friendship forever, but...i don't wanna keep these feelings pent up anymore.Here goes, *deep breath* i like her. I wish that my ex hadn't made me break up with her. She means the world to me...and i missed my chance. She's moved on, doesn't need my embrace anymore.
I am the past, just a memory of what i could have had with her. I guess it's for the better. I hope the person she's with now, holds onto her. And never lets her go, she's a special person.

I want to escape to the darkness, i can already feel it's cold embrace closing around my neck. Beckoning me back to the sweet solitude that once sheltered me. Who knows...maybe i'll disappear into it, and never return. Who knows anything anymore? I mean, if she reads this...will we still be friends after...or will i lose another that i care deeply for. I hope not...I hope we're still friends, and...i'm sorry for making you feel so awkward before.

Darkened soul:

"I once thought, that darkness was for those who are betrayers.
I was wrong, it was meant for me. To hide to away from the world.
To hide people from me, let them live without the pain that is me."

A Promise:

"I wanted so much, for things to return to the way they were...
To make you smile, to hold you close...
I know now, that it is all in the past.
I am but a boy from the net, nothing more now.
Dreaming of a time long ago, living in a world that I wished still existed.
The dream is broken around me, the shards piercing deep.
Heart and soul, torn from my body
I lay lifeless on the ground.

I know now, that my time is gone.
From that past, will form a bond.
An undying bond, that will tie us together.
A bond which only you may break.
A promise...
Friends till the end.
I'll wrap my ebony wings around you, when you're sad
Make you smile when your down.
I am your guardian angel...
just as you are mine..."

Despair makes for the best inspiration. I just thought up these poems. I really like the second one. I know...you'll probably read this. I just want you to know, that...i don't want this to mess up our friendship. It means the world to me, and to lose it...would break my tiny little heart. *hugs you tight*

EDIT:It's funny cause, i'm so tempted to delete this entry...for fear of how you will react when you read this. I...just couldn't keep it in, i wanted to tell you...and this is the only way i know how...*fights urge to delete entry*....I'm sorry....