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I'll need to write quickly; people are probably looking for me as I speak. The past month has been incredibly difficult, but I'll start up where I left off.. Right then, where was I?

Oh yes, my love away from love. Aur and I really hit it off that night, and although I was obsessed with Breznon, I didn't stop myself. I guess it has to do with the fact that Aur is so much like him- he's basically Breznon with a Gaian body.

For the whole of November, we grew closer. It began the same way, as best friends. Yeah, we weren't best friends for very long, but we were still best friends. Somewhere along the lines, we just became a couple.

Don't get me wrong, everything wasn't all sunshine and kikis. I hated myself for awhile; my worst fear had come true- I fell in love. I wasn't even sure if I would ever see Breznon again, but if I did, what would I tell him? I told myself that he probably found someone new already (our relationship was never perfect, and he DID always have a wandering eye). How long had even passed since I last held him? The answer was too long. Mother showed no signs of leaving anytime soon, and she needed me for what she was planning. My conclusion was that by the time I returned, I would be old news.

From then, I felt free to be with Aur. I actually felt as though I would stay if I ever had a chance to go back. Aur and I still haven't discussed this.. I felt it was too personal, and he would take it the wrong way. I lost someone once, and I didn't want to do it again. So, we acted like couples do.. The very same things that made me despise his race in the first place.

And then I found out I was pregnant... I'm not willing to go into HOW a Zurg gets pregnant, but the fact is that I did. Towards the end of November, I gave birth to a typ- err, a boy, as Gaians would say. He was beautiful, everything a Zurgling should be. His bright black eyes were inquisitive, his skin a wonderful shade of green, like mine. If you didn't know about Aur, you would think he was pure Zurg. Aur insists he has a striking human-like quality about him, but I'm not quite sure how he means. Anyways, my baby went without a name for a few days. We just couldn't decide what to name him.

Aur wanted to name him something Zurg-like, stating that our son should be proud of his heritage. However, I wanted him to have a Gaian name, pointing out that he was also part Gaian. Eventually, a friend, who I had met in the months prior, suggested the name Thaddeus. I loved it, and so did Aur. Everything was alright for awhile. It wasn't the best, but it wasn't the worst. I mean, we had the best time with our son, but the people around us didn't seem so enthused.

Every day, if people weren't muttering behind sheltering hands to Gaian ears while giving me dirty glares, they were outright telling me that I should just "go back to where I came from", and hopefully my spaceship would malfunction and I would "burn in the atmosphere". People never called me by name, it was always "Hey alien!", or "Zurg scum!". People cursed my son, people who hadn't even met him or glanced at him long enough to draw any conclusions about an infant besides the fact that he's Zurg.

And then the worst happened, which brings us to now. Gaians hacked the database, and discovered Mother's plans. I can't say I feel entirely bad that these were found out; once I fell in love, I became more involved with the culture on Gaia. However, that doesn't save me from persecution from Gaians. I'm just ashamed that I had to bring Thaddeus into this life, living in shame. I want to become a Gaian, I really do. I mean, to protect me, to protect US. And then I look into his eyes, full of wonder, probably wanting to go to the stars.. I think, "How could I take this away from him? How could I hide who he really is? He's something to be proud of, he's a Zurg."

I just don't know.. I better go down to the basement again, just in case a random passer-by happens to look through my windows..