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My super awesomely cool boyfriend is now my super awesomely cool ex-boyfriend, but we're still good friends (thankfully). He broke up with me last night on IM (same way he asked me out). It ends up he still has strong feelings for one of his friends named Bailey (yes, it's a girl, he's not gay, lol). I have to be honest, it completely destroyed me. But I knew he really liked Bailey from the start, he just didn't want to say it because he said he'd feel like crap. Rick says he still feels like crap for having to put me in that kind of spot, but I understand where he's coming from. He was very honest, very kind about it. He said that it was nothing I did/ am, but just his own personal issues getting in the way (Bailey, and knowing that he wouldn't be able to say goodbye if we kept dating for the last 8 months until he moves). I asked him if he was just being nice, or if something I did really disturbed him, but he still, in a very firm but gentle way, said no. It was NOTHING at all about me. Though I've cried all day and night from this, I know that he'll be happier this way, and that's all that matters to me. Most of my friends at school loath me, but there are a select few that still talk to me, and we're able to love each other's company. It also helps me get my mind off of Rick. It was extremely difficult to talk to him today, in person, but sooner or later I'll get over it (probably later). He was my first true love, and I'll never forget what he did for me (emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually). We are still able to talk like good friends, and, though I REALLY REALLY REALLY miss him (being able to hold his hand, give him a true hug, slow dance with him, and of course, kiss him) A LOT, if I know he's happy, then I'll be able to be happy for him. In the long run, things should turn out ok. I guess it was a God-gift that he wasn't able to come over to my house for about a month recently from his bad grades, because otherwise, we'd get even closer to each other, and it would have been even harder (if possible) to say goodbye. I'll never forget him (like I said), and I hope he enjoyed our time together as much as I did. I know some people that are always able to lift my spirits in this kind of time (family, friends from church, a friend of mine named Chris, and a few others) whether they know it or not. And I hope they know how much I really appreciate them. If people read this, please pray for my peace of mind, for his good judgement and safety, and just for the situation in general. Thanks.
~Stacey
 Short_stuff_dude · Fri Dec 01, 2006 @ 11:31pm · 0 Comments |
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