One of the stories i promised to you.Its called the Origin of the Garden Gnomes: (i'm gonna let go of proper grammer)
One day in an unkempt garden, a troll came out of his hole. there were 3 garden gnomes, that the troll fed. You see, the gnomes were once killer mutant ninjas from space. a long time past, the troll froze them into the cursed position of a garden gnome untill someone tagged them.
when the troll, burt, left the garden to go get groceries, the 4th unknown ninja came and tagged the other ninjas, freeing them. they ran about the countryside, bringing havoc upon all that they came across. when burt got home and realized what happened, he got rite down to chasing the ninjas. it got down to a deadly game of freze tag.
monthes later, burt caught up to the ninjas in the already ransacked city of tokyo.(it was godzilla you know)burt and the ninjas all met in the main street for a showdown.
suddenly the ninjas all jumped up tp the lofts of the buildings all around and started throwing nunchucks at burt. burt dodged and threw spella at the ninjas, slowly turning them all back into garden gnomes. finally it was all down to burt and one ninja. the ninja threw samurai swords and other ninja like weapons at burt. burt threw spells and other wizard like weapons at the ninja. they battled non stop for weeks. finally, the ninja was too tired for any more dodging and washit with a spell and was transformed.
burt collected the garden gnomes and teleportedback home where no one could change the ninjas, and where they still are today.
THE END! wasn't that great! it kept ya on the edge of ur seats, didn't it, didn't it!
heres a joke: A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a
fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that
now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your
skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how
you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some
poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a
pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and
blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he
shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts
jabbing himself all over --the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere.
There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is
appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???"
The New Yorker looks at the chief and says, "So much for your canoe,
shmuck!"
I'm going to mt baker tomorrow!!!!! yay!!!! blaugh blaugh blaugh
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