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Well the problem hasn't gone away, I feel it's going to stick with me for a while, but I just have to live with it. The fact that I have this great of friends and family is astounding to me. I don't deserve either of them, but they still are extremely nice and friendly. I wish, though, that I could be the same way for them, but I can't. I try, I really do, but it just doesn't seem to go right when ever I do. Either they take it the wrong, way, I get mad and can't say it, or, most of the time, I just can't. I've never really acted in a loving manner for quite sometime, and the last time I did, it blew up in my face. Either it's my fear of screwing it up that badly again, or the fact that I'll be made fun of untill my mind goes, it doesn't matter. I still can't do it. So that's why I turn to writing cowardly letters in class, or writing cawardly emails at home, which is kind of sad. It gets the job done, but I can't see what they look like as they read it, or hear the tone of their voices, or see their eyes either shrivle up in anger, or overflow with sadness or joy. The latter one I have yet to do in the last few months. So I close this with saying, to my friends and family: thank for everything you've given me, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to be as nice as you guys have been to me