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So it's pushing on 2 AM, I'm sitting here listening to The Cure, and I'm thinking...Why the ******** do I need relationships? I mean, I know I NEED people, I need to be loved, I need to be WANTED, but in the back of my mind I always know that it's not going to last long enough and it's going to take months for me to get over it. Beth made me feel amazing, I had so much fun with her, but once the relationship ends...I can never get back to a friendly state. This isn't mostly my fault, she was the one who got pissed at me for no reason, and because of that I got pissed at her. I mean, I knew that at some point I would get mad at her because that's just my natural way of getting over someone. But, when I saw her yesterday...all that just sort of faded away. In the back of my mind, I kinda had a feeling that I would never get over her. Because, like yesterday when she was with Taylor, she looked like she was flirting and I just fell apart after seeing that. It bothers me that she's not with me anymore. A quote from "Before Sunset" comes to mind about relationships: "I can never get over someone, anybody for that matter because every person is their own individual, every person has their own perks that you'll always miss". And, I guess that's how I feel. The thing about Beth was that I never felt like I was acting to clingly around her, I never felt like she didn't like me, I always knew I was welcomed by her. And, yesterday...she was NICE to me, a first since February. Maybe she felt guilty, too. That would be nice to know. To know that she knows that she hurt me and she still is. I don't know, maybe I just need to let it go. Maybe I AM too clingy. Well, whoever said "time heals all wounds" better be ******** right.