Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

This past week has been so confusing to me! The one person i think i like hasnt treated me like i dont exsist anymore, i turned down the one girl i probally i had the most chance in having a real relationship with and my health is going down the tubes!

I realize maybe im the one not ready for a relationship but it helps when both people in the relationship actually contribute to it, I feel as if I'm the only one trying to make this work anymore. Maybe jami was right about him after all, but then again i love him with all my heart but i feel like hes treating me like chris used too.

** And for anyone who's womdering who Chris is, Chris is my x-bf who beat me last year, not the greatest person in my life ya know**

Everyting in my life has gone down hilll from last year. I'm losing my best friend to her boyfriend, all my old friends hate me for some stupid b***h who lies about everything and i feel as if i have no one anymore. Somedays i wish that i was still in the hospital, cause then i everyone would actually care then. I think people only care about me is when they are worried about me, well guess what people you should always be worried. My mind is a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. I plan to be dead before i get out of college and its probally gonna happen. Eventually i will get so fed up with people and there s**t that i will just do it one day and finish it.

Maybe after all that you might actually understand how i felt over the years of physichal and emotional abuse i have gone through. stare