Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

To whom it may concern:



As someone who is neurodivergent and often doesn’t recall much of my past due to trauma from the past + ongoing trauma and an overworked mind, I ask for grace. I also ask that we all extend dignity to ourselves by doing the right thing:

Address your grievances directly, in person or write a polite well thought message.

I am active here on Gaia, and while I sometimes notice undertones of snide remarks, they usually go over my head. Unless you send me a clear message expressing your concerns or seeking closure, I won’t catch it—and honestly, I ignore negativity anyway. Indirect hostility wastes your time and does nothing to help you grow.

We are, most of us, in our thirties now. I am not proud of who I was in my twenties: a people pleaser who trusted too easily, did things for love, when a healthy bond should do things because you are loved. Vulnerability is not an invitation to exploit someone’s friendship. Manipulation is not connection. I spent too long enabling bad behavior, trying to meet others’ expectations at the expense of my own peace, and my own behavior. My boundaries were “zero”, and I was messy.

Alas, Here in my 30’s, a combination of therapy, and healthier bonds-I can regulate myself, a lot better, and I expect that from others.

I do not entertain or tolerate what I use to back then.
I am also perfectly content, if I am not trusted, if you are getting to know me.
You shouldn’t trust anyone instantly, I encourage others to take their time. It’s like what I always say, “Consistency is key.” No, you are not required to talk everyday, just flow with what goes, let it be organic.
But if you are constantly getting bad vibes, then its best to trust your intuition!
Apologies to disrespect, being pushed away, or unintentionally down played is only meaningful with changed behavior.
We all have stories, traumas, and different personalities-this takes a group effort to build trust, and then the bond.

Although, be sure to be kind, and acknowledge the efforts of others.

For that matter regarding vibes within a person….

I am entitled to change my mind about people, whether I find discomfort in the interaction or person, or if I want to keep trying to cross bridges with someone.

When it comes to me personally, I will give every chance to a person, if I don’t see change, then I am out. So yes, I will drop mutual spaces. It’s not my fault, if the communication on my end isn’t being comprehended, and that’s when I will just remove myself silently. I know that will make people upset. But, a person you are trying to convey your feelings, should of been receptive to begin with. What is the point of discussing key points, when a person repeats behavior?

My brain prioritizes peace. I will ignore any hidden animosity.

Again, I endure GAD, and adhd-I cannot be bothered to read undertones.

Undertones of gossip may feel subtle, but they carry weight. Whispered remarks or passive digs don’t resolve anything—they only deepen division. If you have a grievance, own it. Accountability means speaking directly, with clarity and respect, instead of letting resentment fester in shadows.

Turn offs for me:
Deflecting: Avoiding accountability by shifting blame, changing the subject, or dodging responsibility. Example: No apologies, just blaming it on something else.
• Gaslighting: Manipulating someone into doubting their own feelings, memories, or perception of reality. Example: That never happened, type of people.
• Downplaying others’ wins: Minimizing or dismissing someone’s achievements instead of celebrating their success. Example: Must be nice, type of people.
Those are all red flags for me smile I use to tolerate A LOT of that. Sure, you can be an understanding person, but then you sweep away your own feelings. And then you grow into being a messy person yourself, because there is so much resentment, you become a literal door mat to others, and to yourself. Which extends you to act out of line, and behave out of character. My 20s were messy, I projected the hurt, that was inflicted onto me. Accountability looks good on everyone.

End note: I am not perfect. I have done my share of messy venting about people, but then I come to realize-I need to either try a bit more to get to know someone, and feel them out OR just drop them if they are making me feel uncomfortable that much. It’s just all about having a safe space, and WHO you can be vulnerable with. Because, I won’t ever deny the power of friendship *cringe line I know*, because my perspective might differ from other, and most of the time a second opinion is needed on a situation. And I am blessed to have close friends, to help me with that.

Let’s do better each day, for ourselves, and the community. The universe knows, I try not to return the old place where I was just a fallen star. Let’s all shine brighter, and better.

This is my sincere boundary towards anyone. And my sincere apology, who met me in my twenties.

Thank you smile , be well!