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So I realized before something big happens nowadays I do get a little 'preminission.' But it's worse than that...I'll grab ahold of the worst emotion I'd feel when the bad thing happens and act it out. At Wolfs a year ago before I came to Jane's I suddenly woke up from my half sleep and started bawling my eyes out and after awhile I went over to him and said, "I don't wanna go back into foster care." So he reassured me it wouldn't happen again.

Well here I am at my Aunt Jane's.

This time I was listeing to a pop song on 106.5 and I JUST found the lyrics.

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

That is, really, what I always wanted. Someone to just be there and love me and want us to work no matter what. Mike is being paranoid, I know he usually is but I never thought it'd amount to this. So now I worry because I left my...64 CDs over at his place...but then again his friend's boots which I accidently switched with my identicle ones are here-A size smaller and I have his ring, god dammit.

Nice promises, Micheal. I meant it when I said what we were doing was like soul tying to me and you gave me the right on. I also meant it when I said, "I'll be there weather you win or loose," when you were bawling and clinging to me your grandmother's ******** basement. And now she's the one helping to convince you that I'm wrong, the one who kicked you out of the family because you turned gothish and you just didn't wanna ******** listen to her because you're eighteen. I wonder who's shoulder you'll fall on next time but at least you won't have me around now to 'influence' you.

I ******** love you. I would never do anything to hurt you, dammit and I never really have, I've been there for you.

I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO RUIN YOUR TRUST IN ME!!! Why the hell are you listening to everyone else but me? Is that why you kept pausing on the phone? People giving you little whispers?