Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Yeah, Valentines Day is comming up.
I hate this damn holiday....it always makes me feel so lonely....especially with those damn carnations they sell in the foyer to give out in the classes. You see all these preppy girls walking around with like six or seven of them, then I don't even get a card. Some things just never really seem fair. I've been going to the gym often as of late. But I'm worried that instead of toning like I want to, that with my luck, I'll walk out looking really muscular and butch instead of feminine and trim. >.> Once again going back to my point with the whole fairness thing. Is it because I'm agnostic?!? Am I being punished for something?!?
God-Of course you are. Other than being the daughter of all evil, you then go and say your agnostic. What did you expect? A cake?
Me-*mumbling* no....but a little cookie or something would have been nice....
God-*strikes her down with lightning*
Me-*smoking and singed* Your a Vengeful God!!!!
crying
*sigh*
I don't even want like a dying commitment of love on Valentine's, just a sign that someone even appreciates me.
X_X
I hate the whole flowers thing on Valentine's though. I guess its just because I don't see the allure of a flower. I would rather have a weed. There is a good explanation beghind this I swear!

<Flowers are grown in greenhouses and gardens everywhere, only grown to be picked and given to someone to live for a few days before they die, either that or your can look and admire, but you can never feel or touch the flower so full of fragile beauty and life. Weeds on the other hand are strong and dependant, growing constantly and can survive anything and in any kind of situation. They cling to the ground, ignored and picked just to be destroyed to make room for the flowers. They're looked over and frowned upon, but can still survive it all and even spread to the areas around it.>

Meaning, that instead of a common flower given to me that was grown by some old crone in a garden, constanly admired and doted upon that will die in just a few days, give me a weed-the plant that is always over looked, the outcast of herbal society that will last weeks on end and grow back even if I do nothing but throw it onto the ground-theres a poem that describes my point perfectly that I read a long time ago.
To most people my reasoning makes no sense what so ever, but its the way I feel. Guys, be original!
Give me a dandilion or aphid covered weed instead of a rose or carnation. I like them better.
=)

But, enough with that now that I'm throughly depressed that noone will ever give me a weed, onto my next two problems.
I have to write and translate a conversation in French and write a whole script for drama.
Neither of which are going very well. If they were, I'd still be writting on Word, not on Gaia bitching about it.
Damn fat-a** lesbian going back on her word and lying through her crooked teeth about everything! I hate Melissa, or Mel, as shes commonly called because she wants to be even more like a dyke than she already is. She tries to lie her way into everyone's favor when she dosn't know a damn thing about what shes trying to discuss. Then she tries to be funny and just comes off as stupid and annoying. My printer is out of ink, so I told Christine that I'd E-Mail her the script to print out. I swear to God, if that little lisping whore forgets it like she seems to do everything else, I'll wring her scrawny little neck.
*Wow, lot of vehemence in the topic now....*
Ban's been in such a shitty a** mood lately and won't even tell me whats wrong, but shes making me sick with it because I can fel a knot in my stomache the size of Kansas. You know I think she was the reason I got sick in the first place.

I've generally lost all intrest in guys the past week. Being out of school and not missing them really made me care less. I told Buck to back off some and he did, so now were just kind of ******** buddies who grope each other in their spare time. Its because of Patience's party. He tried to kiss me several times and every time I wanted to, but I held myself back and always got out of it somehow because I'm just not the kind of person to kiss like that on a first date. So he got a little dissappointed I guess. Now I'm mad at myself to. Damn it all, I'll never be happy in relationships. As soon as I get a guy, I purposefully do something wrong or destroy it, or just want to hurt them (sorry Riko and several others who I don't even feel like mentioning right now). Its my own damn fault for letting my past experiences get in the way and cause me to act like this. I just haven't had any kind of good expreiences with guys and men in general. Only a couple guys have ever really made me feel good, like I could be my dorky, spastic self around them and they loved me for that reason.
*sigh*
Well, back to the writing I guess.

-Tani